On the Bench [Sequel to On the Couch]

Chapter Eighteen

Quick (actually lengthy) Note: Maybe I am feeling a little emotional lately and super excited for you all to read this chapter but I have something to say first.

I am writing and watching one of my favorite sci-fi movies of all time called 'Gattaca' while I write this chapter and been crying because as I am thinking of the storyline in the movie it reminds me of my own life:

I was told growing up I had potential but no one believed I would ever amount to anything, I was too flawed,  too wild, too emotional, too volatile, too angry, quick to violence, too stubborn. I was an outcast in school, no friends all my life until adulthood because of my eccentricities and wild beliefs and ideas, the weird one who had her nose stuck in a book and was praised by the teachers for my intelligence and creativity. I was a runaway on the streets in my teens, doing drugs, sex, rock n roll and jail. Then drug rehabs and juvenile hall and group homes until I was 18. I gave 3 children up for adoption in my early adulthood and deal with Bipolar Disorder and alcoholism and a struggling 15 year marriage. And I want to tell everyone who thought I was a piece of shit and a lower class member of society because of my upbringing that wasn't my fault with an abusive mother and alcoholic father, and my own flaws, that no one is perfect.

With every vote, every comment, every read, every 'added to their reading list' notification I get on my books validates my contribution to literature and the world and most of all you readers validate me as a person worthy of love which is what my name Amanda means. This is why I am so grateful to all of you every day and talk to you all the time as much as I can and want to update regularly. I was told all my life I was nothing. So thank you for that. =) The song is 'Nothing's gonna stop us now' by Starship, listen to the lyrics and it has a double meaning though its totally 80s and from that movie Mannequinn with Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrell. Enjoy the chapter. (Also If you Leave by OMD hehehe from Pretty in Pink) (If that is TMI or too long of a author note then TFB) =)

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Evan’s POV

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“Deal?” Sonja questioned, her brow furrowing in further confusion.

I took a deep breath and my hands shook as I stroked her cheeks with my thumbs. Before I could start to explain my treacherous secret the receptionist came back into the lobby.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Ms. Winters.”

“It’s okay.” She pulled away from my hand.

I’m sure we all looked quite the spectacle with Sonja distraught and confused, Hollister standing behind me furious and anxious and me, about to explain a secret that could destroy my relationship.

“We should continue this in my office,” Sonja said meaning she wanted both of us there to explain and that she sensed the darkness of what I had to tell her.

Hollister and I followed her back into the building. Stacy looked up from a desk she was at with a double take and equally confusing expressing. Sonja nodded her head slightly when Stacy gave her a questioning stare.

Once inside Sonja’s office she stood folding her arms at the window gazing out. “So what is this deal?” She had folded her arms over her chest masking her stress.

Hollister sat at the chair in front of her desk staring ahead instead of at either one of us. Coward.

I turned to Sonja and kept my gaze with her when she turned around. “Hollister as you know paid my bail. There’s a reason he did so and I had no idea until after I was already released that he paid it.”