I Wish I Could Explain

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Mingyu☕:
I'm coming, don't worry.

Relief washed over him like a sandy wave over a pebble on the beach. He sighed through a blanket of tears before stumbling to the bathroom sink to wash his face (and his mind) of all the sadness. He was embarrassed to let it show.

Wonwoo knew he wouldn't be able to hear Mingyu knock when he arrived so he waited by the door, occasionally looking through the peep whole.

He felt weak and frail and ready to burst into tears again but he knew he had to be brave. Mingyu cared so much about him- he truly owed him a straight answer.

When the tall man with honey skin finally walked up the stairs of the apartment complex towards Wonwoo's door each step was nervous and hesitant. Several times he paused and turned away before shaking his head and continuing to approach the apartment. Wonwoo could see him muttering to himself as if he was rehearsing what he wanted to say.

Wonwoo became impatient as he watched Mingyu stall. He wanted more than anything to hear his voice and see his shining eyes. He honestly missed him for the short while they were apart.

He watched as Mingyu nodded to himself and adopted a confident stance before finally approaching. Before he had a chance to greet the doormat with his shoes Wonwoo threw open the door and tackled him with a hug. This wasn't his original plan. He wanted to open the door with a blank face and welcome Mingyu inside to apologise formally and calmly (he assumed that that's what you're supposed to do since his experiences were minimal) but he just couldn't help himself. Mingyu was like his lifeline and he was dying without him.

"I'm sorry, Mingyu. I'm so sorry!" Wonwoo half-yelled into his chest finally letting go of the depressing emotions he had been hauling around on his shoulders all morning.

"It's ok. I'm sorry too." Mingyu held him close and buried his face in Wonwoo's hair. He wrapped his arms around him so gently as if he was worried he would shatter under his touch.

They stood in the doorway cocooning one another in hugs and tears for what seemed like eternities but Wonwoo didn't mind. He wanted to stay like that no matter what. Even if the world came crumbling down around them he would remain enveloped in Mingyu's warm black coat breathing in his honey and vanilla scent.

"Let's go inside." Mingyu said eventually.

"Ok." Wonwoo replied but neither of them moved. They just held eachother closer letting their warm embrace speak a thousand apologies.

It wasn't until Wonwoo's neighbor came out of her apartment that they pulled apart and smiled awkwardly to greet her. As she walked away down the stairs they made their way inside closing the door behind them and leaving the hall in echoed silence.

Wonwoo lead him to his kitchen where Mingyu sat down at the counter. He went to the fridge to get him a drink. Mingyu said he liked the orange juice at Wonwoo's house so he poured him a glass and placed it on the table infront of him before sitting down too. Mingyu's eyes were red and sore and his cheeks looked stained and swollen. It was clear he had been crying. A lot.

Silence filled the space between them and Wonwoo hated it. So he broke it as gently as possible.

"Mingyu, I made a mistake. I'm sorry." He shook his head as he spoke with furrowed eyebrows and teary eyes.

A layer of water formed on Mingyu's eyes too making them even more sparkly than usual. He sniffed and wiped his nose with his sleeve before suddenly standing up and pulling Wonwoo into a hug. This time his arms were strong and protective as if he was trying to show how much he loved the beige haired boy through the strength of an embrace.

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