The Keeper

Chapter 26

The songs I listened to while writing are G.I.N.A.S.F.S. by Fall Out Boy, Pas De Cheval by Panic! at the Disco and Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division.

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*

"It was Gillian."

Sasha's eyes widened immediately. Her mouth curled into a frown. "I'll kill them both. How dare they do that to you?" She stood up but I grabbed her arm and pulled her back down.

"Leave them be," I said, wiping my tears with the back of my hand. "I told them they made their choice."

Sighing, Sasha moved to sit next to me. I curled up against her side as she wrapped an arm around me. Her hand rubbed my back slowly. We sat in silence for a while. The constant feeling of her hand on my back was comforting.

"This isn't like Oliver," Sasha muttered. "Gillian, maybe." I managed a chuckle. "But not Oliver. I would never have expected him to do anything as awful as that. Especially considering how honest he seemed about his feelings towards Gillian."

I considered this. He had seemed awfully adamant that Gillian annoyed him to his wit's end. And I was certain that his side of our relationship wasn't faked - it was so genuine. Or at least that's how it seemed. I didn't know what to believe after seeing him entwined with her.

"Like I said," I replied, drying my eyes, "Oliver made his choice. He picked Gillian over me the second he kissed her."

"That was a very stupid choice, Y/N," Sasha countered. "And if you ask me, he mustn't've been thinking straight."

I shrugged, not entirely believing her, though I appreciated her attempt at consoling me. It was clear she was going to say something else but was interrupted when Aleeza and Louise flung themselves onto the sofa opposite us. They were both panting heavily.

"I'll kill them both," Aleeza growled, as Louise nodded vigorously. "Would you prefer stabbing or strangling? I'm open to anything, as long as they both suffer."

I wondered how they had found out about my situation. Then I realised that someone must've told them, and the only people who I thought knew were Sasha, Oliver, Gillian and me. Neither Sasha nor I would've had the chance so it must've been one of the other two. I swallowed hard.

"That aside," I said, "how do you know?"

The girls shared a look that made my stomach fall.

Louise leant forward, her elbows resting on her thighs. "Oliver and Gillian were walking through Hogsmeade together," she whispered. "Holding hands, borrowing jackets...they made no effort to keep it secret."

My eyes watered but I was determined to let no more tears fall. I simply nodded stoically.

"You're gonna see them at dinner," Aleeza said. "I don't want to horrible, but I also don't want what they'll be doing to be a shock."

She didn't need to give me her prediction - I could picture them perfectly, hugging tightly, lost in each other's eyes. The thought made me sick.

"I'll go," I decided after a second of thought. "Hold my head high and such."

Sasha clapped me on the back. "We'll be right here to back you up. Reapply your makeup - make yourself look stunning. Oliver's gonna take one look at you and will instantly regret kissing Gillian."

She had a valid point, so I lugged myself to the bathroom to clean myself up. I emerged at least fifteen minutes later looking fresh and ready to take on the world. I had applied simple yet flattering makeup, a style that Oliver had complimented me on before. As a result, I was confident I'd be able to tear his eyes from Gillian and make him realise what he had lost.

*

The result was the complete opposite. Gillian had relocated to the Gryffindor table to sit next to Oliver. Her arm was wrapped around his torso and she was leaning on his shoulder.

I clenched my jar as I sat down, taking care to sit somewhere I wouldn't be able to see them. With my back turned, I wouldn't know if either of them noticed my arrival. If I had to guess, I would say Gillian did. She most likely was having a lot of fun dangling Oliver in front of me.

"Whatever happens," Aleeza said, leaning across the table so she could whisper, "we know you look fantastic."

"Clearly not fantastic enough," I muttered under my breath. I was suddenly glad I had used waterproof mascara as I felt tears well up in my eyes. "Guess this is it."

I stood up from the table, ignoring the sudden protests. I heard urgent footsteps behind me and felt a hand grasp my shoulder. It was Sasha. She pulled me around to face her.

"What are you doing?" she hissed. People were staring at us. But as I looked towards Gillian and Oliver, they were most concerned with the intense kissing they were doing. "What happened to showing him what he's missing?"

My jaw clenched as I gestured in their direction. "Look at them!" I exclaimed loudly, earning a few more looks. "Look! I don't think he cares about what he's missing. I'm not hungry anymore. I'm going back to the dorm to work." I spun around and continued heading to the exit.

"Y/N, please!" Sasha cried, but I had made my decision.

The second I was in the dorm, I burst into tears. I buried my face in my pillow in a futile attempt to muffle my crying. I was distraught. I really liked Oliver - hell, I was ready to tell him that I smelled him in my amortentia! And then everything was thrown away. Everything. I wished I'd never met him, never met Gillian. At that moment, I hated them both.

I don't know how I had been there when Sasha quietly came in, her face downcast. She had something oddly shaped wrapped in plastic in her hand.

"Hey," she said, coming to lie next to me. "I made you a sandwich. I know you don't feel like it but I'm not letting you go to bed without any supper."

I took the sandwich, unwrapped it and took a small bite. She was right - it made me feel a little better. We lay there, silent, until I finished the sandwich.

"Thank you," I said.

Sasha smiled and took the plastic to go throw it away. She was standing next to the door where the bin was before the door burst open.

"You!" Sasha yelled. "Get out!"