New Story Recommendations

19. Forever isn't enough

Reviewed by: Catacat73

Title: Forever isn't enough
Author: Eternallove-
Genre: fanfiction (the vampire diaries), romance, vampire
Status: Ongoing
Description: Natalie saltzman is a 20 year old vampire hunter because of the fact that her mother was killed by a vampire two years ago. Her father and her have been chasing endless leads for the last two years, and their latest lead leads them to mystic falls. There Natalie thinks that she is only staying for three months maximum, but she ends up staying longer, and Natalie embarks on a journey of heartbreak, happiness, joy, and above all, a journey of love.

Recommendation:
I couldn't tell that this was a fan fiction at first, because the first few paragraphs in prologue seemed very polished and professional. I like how you gave a bit of an insight to who the characters were, so both those who watch the vampire diaries and don't can understand the story. And the story itself.. seems strong. It seems like it was made with purpose and I feel like you have a clear idea and plan on where you're going with it.

Constructive Criticism:

In my opinion, the first person POV for Natalie is a bit inconsistent. I can tell that this is probably how she's meant to be like, but for an outsider who hasn't watched the series, I kinda question her when she goes from totally serious to juvenile sarcasm. I'd suggest building her character up a but more so we can see the clash in her emotions:)

Also, sometimes it kind of turns into a cut and dry narration of what happened in the vampire diaries(atleast from what I've seen so far. You might have fixed it by now). This is relevant to some degree, as it helps us understand the setting and such, but don't go too overboard with it hehe.

But you truly had a good attempt! You have so many chapters, props to you for keeping that stamina going:P

A/N

Guys please start making more requests! I'll be running out at this point hehe. And just to let you know, I'll be taking a break and won't be updating for a few weeks.