I Can't Admit I Love You

Chapter 7

LUCAS

Connor's apartment is incredibly small, I think my father's guest house in the backyard is bigger than this.

But for some reason I really liked it.

The walls were all red exposed brick, covered with books on shelving, succulent plants and pictures he took from his photography class.

He majored in art, he didn't have a steady job. Mostly he worked as a photographer for small time magazines and advertising companies but also for birthday parties and such. It paid the bills and he enjoyed being out and about away from a desk job.

Connor barely had a kitchen, a few brown cabinets, the tiniest stove and mini fridge was pressed against the wall near the front door. All he really had was a living room, and stairs that lead up to the loft where he kept his computer.

My favorite thing about his tiny apartment though would have to be the enormous iron black framed window.

It was great.

If you look down you can see the lively loud city streets and all it's residents walking around like ants.

"Home sweet home." Connor pointed to a door. "That's the bathroom over there and I'll move my computer to one side so you can sleep in the loft, I have an air-matress in the closet."

I looked around confused for a second, "Where do you sleep though?"

"HA! As if I sleep..." Connor joked, he sat on the couch and tapped the brown cushions. "I sleep on this bad boy."

I sat next to him.

"You sleep on the couch? Everyday?"

He shook his head and took out his phone, "Nah depends on the night...if-you-know-what-I-mean,"

For some reason, Skylar popped into my head.

"Just kidding, I haven't been in the game for months." he sighed and tapped away at his phone. "By the way, you know how I told everyone?"

"I been meaning to ask but just who is everyone? I barely know your friends."

I tried to remember back to those college days but it all seemed blurry. I mostly focused on Jaime and school.

"Mikey, Christa ...Jason?" Connor asked trying to provoke my memories.

"Oh yea... how is Mikey and Christa? They still together?"

Connor showed me a picture of his phone, Christa had a baby bump. "Still together"

I smiled at the photo. People change so quickly.

"And Jason?"

Connor tucked his phone in his pocket again.

"Single as a pringle like me," he laughed then slapped his thighs, "I'm gunna shower, let me know if you need anything. We're meeting up with Jason and Mikey tonight."

Before he could head into the bathroom I stopped him, "Uh...I don't have any change of clothes yet - the airline said-"

"It's cool I'll let you borrow some of mine, "

And just like that he took the longest shower ever.

SKYLAR

This dinner is a pain.

I sat with my mother and Edward on her obnoxiously long and wide glass dinner table.

Edward was trying really hard to get close to me, so we could be a 'family' but I'll never accept him as a father.

I wish I could make it clear to him, he should just stop. Besides I was 22 already, it's not like I needed a daddy to take care of me.

"...Many doors would open for you you know?" Edward kept trying to push the internship at his company. I stuffed my face with more potatoes and rolled my eyes to the side.

Mother didn't like how I basically ignored his advances, she coughed at me to behave. I chewed louder.

"More wine please?" Mother snapped her fingers, the maid came and poured her some and then Edwards.

I extended my glass out to her before she ignored me.

"Ahem.." my mother eyed me.

"What? I'm legal." I snapped.

Edward looked at my mother, trying to get on my good side he told her it was alright.

Heh...you might not be so bad Eddy.

"So, Skylar." he continued to pay me attention. "Last time your mother was discussing that you had an interest in interior design?"

I should have never shown her my plans.

I nodded at him though before taking a sip of my wine.

He nodded back, "That's a really good career field, I hope you take it up again when you go back in September. Are you thinking about going back to SUNY?"

I actually hadn't thought about it, the idea of going back was nerve wrecking.

"No... I don't know yet." I shook my head and looked back down at my plate. " I wanted to go, somewhere for interior design but -"

My fingers tensed" ...I can't tell if my plans are good enough.."

It was true, I wasn't much of an artist and I wasn't much of a designer. I barely knew the minimum.

My real talents were useless things, like piano and crochet. But what could I do with that? Knit scarfs in the winter and play the piano in central park for change?

I wanted a real job, a real career. Something I could throw myself and consume all my time and energy into.

"Would it be alright," Edward continued bringing me back to the conversation at hand. "..If i saw your designs sometimes?"

Why? Why could he care to see them? To be truthful, I had forgotten where I left them.

Suddenly I felt my phone in my back pocket vibrate.

"I said no phones on the table Sky..." Mother groaned and rubbed her temple.

It was a text, from Connor:

Hey hey!

Gumby and I are headed to Turtle Bay tonight, come through I know you miss us already.

And by us I mean me ;)

He actually made me giggle out loud. I couldn't help it. I got through the rest of dinner and then when to my closet thinking about what I could wear.

My heart was racing. I was happy even though I knew I shouldn't be this happy about seeing Lucas again. Even so, I invited one of my friends to come along with me just in case things got weird. We agreed to meet there since she lived close by.

I'm probably just happy to get away from mother for now. It's nothing, just nerves... I told myself over and over again.

See you soon!  my friend texted me.

I took out some jean shorts, a black laced flower was printed on the right hand side and put on a pale pink silk tan top. The back was mostly open but not so much that all my back showed.

I knew it would get cold so I grabbed a black cardigan and slipped on some plain black flats.

"Let Pablo drive you," Mother said as I made my way to the door. I thought about not accepting the ride but Pablo was the sweetest driver ever so I accepted and met him downstairs.

"Good evening Miss Skylar. Haven't seen you in so long. Where we headed tonight?" he smiled at me through the rear view mirror.

"Turtle Bay please, thank you Pablo."

I put on my seat belt and put on some pale lipstick.

On my way!