I Can't Admit I Love You

Chapter 22

SKYLAR

I pressed my hand against Connor's chest as he rolled himself on top of me.

I thought I wanted this, I thought I could do this but ....all I keep seeing in his blue eyes was Lucas.

I am in love with Lucas, I thought to myself.

My hand pressed against Connor more forcefully and he stops and breathes heavily.

"So...you do like Lucas don't you?" Connor confirms. I nod once at him, my mouth curves and smiles at Connor. He flops on his back.

"Dammit I hate blue balls," he joked, but his face breaks into a giggle. We hear Lucas downstairs but I don't bother to look down until we hear the door close.

"Hmm I wonder where he's off to," Connor gets up and unbuttons his shirt, his tight chest glistens in the low light.

"Here, sleep in this it's more comfortable than that sexy dress you got on" he winks at me and gets off the air mattress.

"Uh...I can get a cab and you can sleep here.." my voice is soft, I get up to stand but Connor hugs me tightly his head leans into the curve of my neck.

"It's OK I want you to stay" he whispers but after a long pause he admits, "Dammit Skylar it's not ok, but I understand....I lost this time."

I feel heartache for him, I shouldn't have led him on for this long. My hands reach around him and I hug him back.

He kisses the side of my neck and I shiver, "You really are so beautiful you know?" He looks down into my face and smiles before kissing the tip of my nose.

"Goodnight Sky,"

"Goodnight Connor."

10 Days.

I had no more excuses to talk to either or so my days felt empty as I practiced piano and worked. I consumed myself at work and spent the rest of my time at home just gazing out the large windows.

"Can't you at least play happier tunes?" my mother would complain, rubbing her temples as usual.

I need to find a room mate soon.

Saturday came, and I woke up early and took a subway to Harlem since Pablo was busy driving Edward round for several morning meetings.

As I was walking up the stairs to his door, I received a text from Connor.

Hey, Lucas is leaving tomorrow. Do you want to come with us to dinner tonight to say goodbye? We're all going to stay sober this time lol

Lucas...is leaving?

A sharp pain pierced my heart, I wanted so badly to admit my feelings to him. But I knew I couldn't, if I met up with them there would be no point anyway. I would just continue to feel heart broken.

I couldn't respond back, I had to focus on my dad at this moment. I tucked my phone in my back pocket and knocked.

"Dad..I'm not leaving till you open up now, OPEN UP!!" I yelled as I pounded on the door. I heard a footstep and smiled triumphantly.

Finally!

But then a rush of panic spread throughout out my limbs when I noticed the footsteps weren't from inside but behind me.

Thick heavy hands wrapped around my mouth and my vision went black.

LUCAS

"God these drinks taste awful without alcohol," I complained as I drank the bowls of funky concoctions at The Sugar Factory.

Connor, Mikey, Jason and I sat at the bar with giant fish bowl sized drinks.