Curious

The Aftermath; Kim Namjoon

"Do you regret it?" Hoseok asks quietly as the two boys between us fall asleep. I stare down at Jin with a small smile on my face.
"No...yes...I don't know. I'm glad I got to be with him again but I'm sure he'll regret it." I frown.
He rests his hands behind his head. "I really like this Jimin kid." He snorts. "I'm glad your love brought him to me."
I scoff. "He's not my love." He is, though.
"Whatever. You can lie to yourself all you want but I know you too well, Joonie. You can't lie to me. It's him, right? The one you're in love with." He glances at me curiously. "I approve, ya know."
I sigh. "It's not that simple." I argue.
"Why not? You're making it complicated, Joon. You like him and he damn well obviously likes you or he wouldn't have agreed to this ridiculous set up. He's obviously not the type to have foursomes but he wanted to for you." He explains.
I wish so much what he's saying could be true. How could he, though? Like a fucking manwhore like me? Even if I quit, I know he'll never stop thinking of all the people I've been with. I would do the same if I were him.
"I don't know..." I finally reply.
"I don't want you to ruin this because you think you don't deserve him or to be loved. I care about you too much to watch you back out of this." He pauses. "I'm sorry."
  I frown. "For what?"
"This is all my fault. I'm the reason you've even gotten into this life."
I scoff, shocked. "You're the reason I'm alive right now or not in prison. You're the reason that, yes, I've entered this life and because of my job I was able to meet Jin. Don't apologize. Thank you." I whisper, leaning down to kiss Jin's forehead.
I feel Hoseok's eyes on me with a smile. "I wish things could have been different for you, for us, though." He admits.
I nod slowly. "Sometimes me too but I don't really regret my life. Do I wish I could change a few things? Yes, but I'm okay with how things are."
"Obviously not or you'd let yourself admit your feelings for the man." He chuckles.
         "Hobi?"
         "Hm?"
         "Shut up." I scowl as he breaks out into laughter. Closing my eyes, I try to block him out and get some sleep. I dread the morning when Jin wakes up and looks up at me with disgust or worse, the regret I know he will.

       Hoseok wakes me early and I notice he's already dressed to leave. Stretching, I gently untangle myself from Jin's arms and slip on some boxers, walking with him to the next room.
        He smiles knowingly at me, fixing his tie. "I love you, Joon. Not romantically but I do. I want you to be happy. You deserve it." He hugs me and I relax in the hold before he pulls away, grabbing his coat. "The room is paid for and check out is in two hours. Call me before I have to request a date again." He winks, teasing.
        Scoffing, I push him out the door and he laughs, disappearing down the hall. When I turn around, I see Jin leaning against the doorframe to the bedroom, arms crossed...an unreadable expression on his face.
        I straighten up and...just wait. We stare each other down for so long I lose track before he finally moves, walking towards me slowly. "I heard you, you know." He mumbles under his breath.
       I frown. "What?"
       "Last night. I h-heard you. Talking." He blushes, looking away. I stiffen before forcing myself to relax again.
        "Oh. How do you feel about it?" I ask, trying hard not to show my nervousness. I didn't want to do this now but he's obviously giving me no choice.
        He stares at the floor for a long time, thinking. I just now notice he put his clothes back on. I force myself to remain silent and let him finish processing his thoughts no matter how long it takes.
        Finally after what feels like an hour but probably only five minutes, he looks up at me with a serious expression. "I really like you, Namjoon. I'm scared because I like you so much but...I can't handle what you do. The thought of you being with other men..." He pauses and I see a tear run down his cheek. "It kills me." He admits, sniffling.
         I unfreeze and move fast, taking him into my arms. "God, baby. I really like you, too." I wipe the tears off his cheeks and gently kiss his puffy lips. He whimpers against my mouth and opens up for my tongue. I kiss him desperately and passionately, holding him tight.
       He finally seems to break and pulls away to release a sob. "I l-love you." He whispers almost inaudibly.
        My chest swells with emotion as I pull back and stare into his eyes. "I love you, too, Seokjin." I peck his mouth again and again. Over and over, I kiss every inch of his face, needing to smother him in my feelings, let him know just how true my words are.
        He shudders, burying his face in my chest. "How can this work?" He sobs. "You're still an escort, Namjoon."
        I run my fingers through his hair, resting my chin over his head. "I'll quit."
         He pulls away and looks up at me with hope shining in his eyes. "R-really? I don't want to force you."
         I smile. "I don't want to do this anymore, Jin. I just want you. I don't care about anything else." I admit honestly.
         He absolutely glows with happiness. "Did I say that I love you?" He blushes, sweetly.
         I laugh softly. "Kim Seokjin...will you be my boyfriend?" I ask, lacing our fingers together.
         His blush deepens. "If you really want to." He mumbles. "W-will you move back in with me?" He asks, adorable and shy.
         I wrap him back in my arms. "Are you sure? Doesn't Taehyung still live there?" I ask, surprised.
         He snorts. "There's two rooms and he will be busy with Jungkook, you know. I think he'll be happy for me." He smiles.
         I kiss his nose. "Okay, baby." I look down at myself. "I should get dressed, sweetheart." I pause, frowning. "Uh...what should we do about Jimin?"
         His eyes widen an we both look at the naked sleeping boy in the bed. "I forgot about him." He flushed. "I guess I better wake him. Go ahead and take a shower." He smiles and I nod.
        "Okay." I pull him into another kiss which makes him giggle happily. "See you when I get out, love."
          His eyes brighten with joy. "I'll be here." He teases.