The Quiet Types

Chapter 3

"Why are you here?" I asked as I entered the conference room at the counseling center.

Dr. Felland had decided to come pay me a visit when I had to cancel our appointment a few days ago.

"Just wanted to check up on you," she said calmly as I slammed my books onto the table, "I can understand why you're frustrated, but take a seat and we'll talk about it."

"No. Oh my god. I was in my Physics class. Do you realize how important it is for me to pass that class? I need that to complete my science requirement. It's not even only that. You came to my school. I've worked so hard not seem like I'm a freak. I mean how could you?" I was one octave away from yelling.

"Lauren, it's alright. It's not like anyone knows why you were asked to come to the office," she assured and I slapped the slip on the desk.

"Read it," I instructed and she took it from me, "What does it say?"

"Per psych," she read aloud and I nodded in agreement.

"A girl I know in my English class delivered this to my Physics class. For someone who has a Ph.D., you sure can be dumb sometimes. I mean did you just happen to forget that this is a much smaller town than NYC? I mean I'm already a target because I'm new and that's thanks to you. You insisted my parents find somewhere peaceful. That a place like this would improve my attitude towards things."

"Has it?" she asked and I gave her a deadly stare.

"Can I just return to class? I'm done talking to you. We are not in a session. I don't have to talk to you," I made clear as I pushed my hair back in frustration.

"Lauren, I only wanted to see if you were transitioning well. We've come so far, I just wanted to make sure you weren't doing anything that would cause you to take steps back," she explained as she pointed to the seat across from her, "Now please sit."

"I'm fine," I said the words through gritted teeth, "Now please sign my pass so I can leave."

"Your mother asked me to come. She was unsure if you were settling okay. She said you'd been angry with her quite a few times the past couple of weeks."

"Oh my god. I'm fine, okay? She's basically doing exactly what you're doing. She was hovering. My dad even mentioned it to her when she went to him about it. I just want to be the Lauren they knew ten months ago and not this victim. I made my decisions and I know I dug my own hole when they found out. I'm seventeen. I'm not seven," I responded.

She nodded in understanding. "Then I have one simple question. If I were to have you checked would I find any open or new cuts?"

She had to be bluffing. She agreed at the beginning of our sessions that she would never put me in a situation like that.

"No," I lied, "Have I thought about it? Of course, but I promised myself never to do it again. I learned that if I continued this that I would end up hurting the people I care about and letting Will down."

Saying his name made me want to puke.

"Alright," she agreed as she scribbled her initials on the pass, "I made an appointment with your mom for next week. Don't cancel."

"Fine," I said as I took the pass from her and rushed out the door.

I noticed she hadn't written down the time and decided it was the perfect opportunity to take a quick detour. I made my way to the restrooms and into the handicap stall. I dug through my backpack for my glasses case and opened it up to remove the lining that was supposed to protect the glasses. There sat a small single edge blade, alcohol wipes, and a large bandage. I quickly lifted my boyfriend tee and pushed my jeans down slightly to reveal the scarring I worked so hard to hide.