The Quiet Types

Chapter 5

Billy and I were sound asleep until my phone began to go off like crazy. I groaned as I reached for it, and unfortunately, without my glasses, I wasn't able to see who was calling me at almost two in the morning. I sent it to voicemail only for the person to call again. I groaned in defeat and answered the call.

"Hello," my voice cracked. I cleared my throat and sat up making sure not to wake up Billy.

"I'm in your backyard," said the familiar voice on the other end.

"What? Who is this?" I asked as I sat up.

"Just come outside."

Before I could protest they hung up. I climbed out of bed and grabbed my glasses off my desk. I quickly found a hoodie in my closet followed by my Toms before I quietly rushed out of my room and down the stairs. I pressed the code on the keypad before opening the back door hoping the code silenced the voice from announcing the back door was open. I peeked around hoping to see someone familiar, but I didn't see anyone outside.

"Hello," I tried to keep my voice as quiet as possible.

That's when I heard footsteps on our deck. I looked over in the direction the steps were coming from to see Theo appear in the dim light.

"Oh my god. Theo, what are you doing here this late?" I asked and he shrugged.

His hands were in his hoodie pockets and he took a seat on the steps of the deck. I shut the door carefully behind me and joined him. I took a seat on the step above the one he was sitting on and waited for him to answer my question.

"Why do you snap?" he finally asked breaking the silence.

"What?" I questioned awkwardly. I had replaced the hair tie he had ripped with a new one once I had got home, "Hold on. How did you even find my address?"

"My mom works for the school. I borrowed the keys when she wasn't looking. Why do you snap?"

"Theo, I don't know what you're talking about," I lied and he looked over at me.

It was as if he could see right through my lie. Even worse, it was if he could see right through me.

"You're pretty good at hiding them. Where are they?" he pushed as he looked over my thighs, "They're not on your arms and they're not on your thighs, so where are they?"

"Again, Theo, I don't know what you're talking about," I pressed as I tried my best not to attack the hair tie around my wrist. Pulling on it would only give me away.

The words of Ms. Xavier rang through my head, "My son battles with the same issue."

"Lauren, I'm not stupid. Now either tell me why or where," he basically ordered and I laughed in disbelief.

"Who are you to be demanding anything. I hardly even know you," I replied as I stood up, "Go home, Theo. I shouldn't even be out here. I don't even know how I'm going to get into the house without my back door setting off the alarm system."

"I was twelve. Middle school was a weird transition and it helped me blow off steam. Some kids smoked pot, others found masturbation, I found a razor. I nearly died when I was fifteen because I cut a vein on accident. Tess found me bleeding in our shared bathroom and called 911. If she hadn't I probably would have been dead."

I stared at him blankly. In that moment, I hated him so much. How could he be so exposed to a complete stranger?

"I'm sorry to hear that and I'm glad you're okay," I manage to get out.

He sighed, "What's your why? Where are you hiding them?"

"I'm going to go inside now. My little brother is in my room. He'll notice if I'm gone too long. Have a good night, Theo."

"Lauren, please talk to me. Believe me, I know how you feel. I know that talking to a psych doesn't do anything but make you angrier. I did things for years that I will never forgive myself for doing because it screwed me up. I work hard every day to stay clean for my sister and mom. Is this why your parents decided to move from wherever you're from? Did something happen to you?"

"No," I replied coldly, "Nothing happened. I'm not talking to you about anything. Now stop it."

"You're still doing it," he announced a little surprised.

My throat was suddenly in my stomach. Was I that obvious at this point? I must be seriously tired if my guard was totally off.

"Bye Theo," I insisted as I rushed to the door, but he was faster than I was and manage to get there before I did.

"You need to stop, Lauren. I swear to God I will tell your parents right now," he threatened.

I clenched my jaw. "You wouldn't."

"Try me," he taunted, "You answer my questions or I will tell and they will check."

I gave in. I couldn't risk going back to the hospital or disappointing my parents. They had given up so much to make sure I was getting the "help" I needed.

"Fine," I agreed.

"So where?" he asked.

I rolled the bottom of my sweater up and then pushed my spandex to reveal the bandage that sat on my hip.

"When?" was his next question.

I took a deep breath hoping to relax my racing heart, "Right before lunch."

"At school?"

I nodded.

"How?" he asked and I stared at him making it clear that what he had just asked was a dumb question.

You never gave away where you hide your stash. It was like the number one rule in any kind of addiction handbook. If one had ever been written anyway.

"Right. I'm sorry," he apologized, "Then why?"

"Will isn't allowed to exist anymore," I whispered.

I was genuinely scared that Will would hear me one day and he would come back to haunt the entire family. He deserved better, and yet here we were living a lie. We were all living as if he hadn't been apart of our family for almost nineteen years.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Confusion was laced with his question and it only hurt all the more to be talking about any of this with him.

"My parents don't want anyone to remember that they had an older son. Will isn't allowed to exist because he was a disgrace to the family. We now have Billy who's six and is his replacement," I tried my best not to cry.

It just hurt so much to say things like that out loud.

"You got your answers. Can I leave now?" I asked as I wiped my cheeks. A few tears had escaped and he just continued to stare at me in complete shock, "Theo, please just move."

He stepped aside and I walked into the house. At this point, I didn't care that I set off the alarm. Everything in me had gone completely numb. I made my way up the stairs and back into bed with Billy. He was still sound asleep and I thanked God for it. I don't think I would have known what to tell him if he had seen me crying. I rested my head on the pillow, but before I could remove my glasses my phone pinged signaling a text message.

It read, "You're going to be okay, Lauren. I'll see you in first hour. -Theo".

I chucked my phone onto the floor hoping not to be bothered by it again. I just wanted to melt into sleep and hoped that I forgot this ever happened.