The Quiet Types

Chapter 4

I was getting ready to go home. I was at my locker getting my Physics and Calculus book hoping to get ahead this weekend. When I went to close my locker door someone pushed it close for me.

I looked over to see Theo standing on the other side of it.

"Hi again," he greeted and I waved weakly, "I'm sorry for running off at lunch."

"It's fine," I assured as I tucked my hair behind my ears.

He shook his head no. "It's not. You were super cool with me asking questions and I bailed when it got serious. I want to make it up to you though."

"Makeup what?" asked a voice behind me.

I turned around to see the kid named Henry. I hadn't seen him since my first day here.

"Hey Lauren," he said.

"Hi Henry," I replied as began to pull on my hair tie.

I never did well in groups. Lucky for me I had a very understanding best friend, and she made it clear that she could have both a social life and an actual best friend. She never forced me to join her in group outings, and she always made time for lunch a few times a week to spend with me at the library. She had understood how much Will's death had affected me. She never pushed anything until she found out I had been doing things. That's when she decided to tell my parents.

Theo looked down at my sudden gesture curiously and then back at Henry.

"I bailed on her at lunch when I had promised to hang out. I just wanted to make it up to her somehow," he lied.

"I didn't even know you knew each other," laughed Henry a little too dryly.

I began to pull on the tie faster.

"Same to you, old friend."

"We met on her first day. I've been meaning to talk to her, but she's really good at the disappearing act," he joked as he looked down at me.

Theo crossed his arms in front of his chest. "She's sat in the same place for lunch for the past fifteen days. You're saying in those fifteen days you haven't noticed her once in the courtyard?"

Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap.

I was hearing it hit my skin, but it wasn't giving me any sense of relief. The nice thing back home was that everyone knew not to be into me. They knew they would get nowhere and that I wasn't worth the energy. They used me more often than not to get to my best friend. She was the tall, pretty blonde who everyone had a crush on.

That's when Theo grabbed my wrist discretely, as Henry tried to come up with an excuse on how he wasn't sure it was me or not, and ripped the hair tie off my wrist. I stared down at his sudden action in disbelief.

I didn't know how to respond to what had just happened. I didn't know whether to be angry or to cry because I still had to ride in the car with my mom without an outlet.

"Lauren, are you alright?" asked Henry suddenly and I looked up at him startled.

"What?"

Nothing was processing the way it should.

"You're seriously pale. Are you okay?" he questioned.

I looked over at Theo who was taking deep breaths. His hands were clenched into fists and my hair tie sat inside the hand that was nearest to me.

"Fine. I have to go. My mom is waiting for me," I said in one breath.

I rushed off before I could say goodbye to either one of them. I made my way off campus, and then into the car. I slammed the door shut hoping that the gesture would make me feel a bit less anxious. I tucked my head in between my thighs and began to try to breathe.

"Lauren, sweetheart, what's wrong?" asked my mom as she began to stroke my hair.

I shook my head no and leaned my head back against the headrest. "Fine. Can we just get home? Please?"

"Yeah. Okay," she agreed as she put the car into drive and pulled away from the curb.

I thank God that we made it home with minimal conversation. My mom insisted that she come check on me in about an hour, but I tried to assure her that the pressure of having to make new friends overwhelmed me a bit. She also mentioned getting our nails redone tomorrow morning before her evening shift at the clinic she was currently working at, and I agreed hoping that eased some of her concern.

***

"Lauren," called Billy from the other side of my bedroom door.

I sighed, "What's up, kiddo?"

"Can I come in?" he asked.

I had changed into my sleep shirt, but I manage to get a pair of Spanx on underneath before I opened the door.

"Yeah," I replied as I stepped away and he made his way inside, "What do you need?"

"So some of the boys at the new school were making fun of me. They were saying that mommy wasn't my real mommy," he admit as I took a seat on my bed and then patted the space beside me.

He took a seat and then lied his head on my lap. I began to stroke his curls back away from his face and he rubbed his eyes.

I could tell he was crying.

"Mom is your real mom, Billy. Mom may not have carried you for nine months, but you share our DNA. When they were explaining to me how this whole thing worked they said that mom needed a little help was all. You're half mom and half dad. There's nothing else to it," I assured.

He nodded weakly. "That's what I tried telling the other boys, but they just laughed at me and said it wasn't possible."

"Well, next time they say anything tell them that you have a big sister who will kick their butts if they don't stop teasing you," I chuckled.

He looked up at me and it broke my heart every time he did. He looked so much like Will that it was hard to imagine him not being biologically related to us. I kissed the top of his head and he sighed.

"Lauren, tell me about him again, please," he whispered and I smiled weakly.

Billy loved hearing about Will. It was our little secret. If mom or dad had found out that Billy even knew about Will they would kill me. They had worked so hard to make sure that Will hadn't existed after Billy's birth that if it weren't for me he would have assumed that he was the only boy my parent's ever had.

"If I tell you, Billy, you have to remember not to tell mom or dad," I insisted and he nodded eagerly, "Alright. William Blaise, you two share a name, that's how special he was to us, was the most amazing big brother ever. He was a lot like you in some ways. He was brave and smart and funny."

"Don't forget he told the most amazing stories," interrupted Billy and I smiled down at him.

"And he told the most amazing stories," I added, "He was my hero. He protected me like I protect you. We did everything together. He wouldn't admit that to anyone though. He was a big kid that way. I'm telling you, Billy, you would have loved him. He loved baseball and he loved drawing these storybooks. He would make anything scary less scary."

That's when I felt Billy's soft snores against my lap. I kissed the top of his head one last time before reaching for my phone and texting my mom that Billy was going to spend the night in my room again. She texted me that it was okay as long as we didn't make a habit of it and that I made sure that Billy didn't depend on me for sleep.

In all honesty, though, I don't think my mom knew how much I depended on Billy some nights to keep clean. He kept me from doing things in the middle of the night. I didn't need my little brother being exposed to the hurt our older brother passed on to me. I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I did.