Girl Alpha (Ethan Dolan)

Am I even loved

Tyler's POV

     I walk down the stairs to find Ethan, I reach the bottom of the stairs and just look at Ethan as he looks back at me.

T- I'm such a fuck up and I know your gonna say I'm drunk and I know I am but when I say I'm a fuck up it's sober me talking.

E- What's wrong

T- EVERYTHING

     I scream sob at Ethan, Ethan stands up and walks over to me, he looks me in the eye's and starts talking to me.

E- Hey shhhh Tyler calm down

T- How am I supposed to calm down........I-I

E- You what

T- I love someone......but I'm not good enough for him

E- Yes you are, you are more then good enough, you are perfect

T- How am I PERFECT, DON'T YOU SEE ME....I'm broken. I have no parents nor family, I only have myself. God I love this boy so much and he has no idea that I do because I hide, and not just that but my past, emotions, and

     I start breathing fast, my air is slowly thining, Ethan looks at me worried.

E- Breath Tyler breath

     Ethan picks me up and sits on the couch holding me in his arms, I cry uncontrollably. I grab tightly to him, and try to stop crying.

T- I'm useless

E- your not, breath T breath

     I'm finally able to breath more steady, somehow Ethan always how to make me control myself and calm me down.

    Ethan and I lay down, Ethan hold me as I relax in his arm's, I'm in front of Ethan but facing him.

T- I miss you

E- I'm here

      I fall asleep with my right hand on Ethan's shoulder and my left arm bent on his right arm. His right arm is wrapped around my waist and his his hand on my back. Ethan's left arm under my neck, pulling me close to him, if only I could just get one kiss.

Morning

         I wake up to the movement of a sleeping Ethan, gently I place my hand on his soft delicate cheek.

T- If only you knew

   A smile on my face as I admire the beauty in front of me, but he has a girlfriend. I play with Ethan's hair, it's so soft and is just perfect, after about 10 minutes of playing with his hair I stop.

E- Don't stop

T- why

E- I like how its feels when you play with my hair

      I play with his hair again and lay my head closer to his, our foreheads touching a little. I kiss Ethan's cheek and get up, Ethan opens his eye's with questions in them.

E- PLAY WITH MY HAIR PLEASE

T- I WILL SOON, I'M HUNGRY

E- FOOOD......OVER.....MEEEE

T- Sorry

      I quickly eat a piece of toast, then walk to the sink to put my butter knife in the sink. I start humming a song that comes to mind, someone grabs my hips and slam me against the wall.

      There body pinned against mine as I look to see Ethan.....of course, Ethan looks me in the eye's and gives me a little mad face.

T- What the fuck you could have broke the wall

E- You said you'd come back to play with my hair

T- are you serious

     Did he seriously act like a kid just because I stopped playing with his hair, I press my lips together to keep in my laughter.

T- Why can't Meredith your girlfriend play with your hair

E- She's to busy doing that to herself, and plus I like how your hands feel with you play with my hair

T- Dork

E- Idiot

T- Loser

E- Geek

T- bozo

E- cutie

T- Sweet

E- kiss me

T- Maybe I will

E- that wasn't a question

T- what if I don't want to

E- Then I'll do this

    Ethan's eye's look into mine and my lips, slowly but surely, he leans in, our lips about to kiss until the door bell went off, our lips only brushed against each other. Ethan gets a little piss but cools down, and gets close to my face again.

E- We'll finish another time, I promise babygirl

    He says sweetly looking into my eye's, I just nod as he then kisses my cheek and walks over to the door to see who it is.

E- Shit, it's Merebitch

    He whispers then backs up from tge door.

T- I see the name caught on

E- I forgot we have school today, she's probably wondering where I am

T- Let's hide

    We both quickly and quitly run upstairs into Ethan's room hiding in his clothes closet. Our chest against each other, and only out breathing being heard, Ethan looks at me and smiles, I look at him and smile back.

M- ETHAN

E- Why the fuck does she just walk into my house

T- To fuck you in your sleep

E- But I only want someone else to do that

T- I don't wanna know

E-........who is it that you love

     I look at him as if I don't remember every part of last night from my thoughts to crying and others.

T- humm

E- Nothing....just....are you ok

T- Yea.....are you

E- Yea

M- Ethan are you in your room

      Ethan looks in between the blinds to see if Meredith is in here, what if she checks the closet, she's gonna think Ethan is cheating oh her with me. I mean look at me, I'm ugly.

E- She's looking in my bedroom bathroom

T- do you think we can run into a different spot, she's eventually will check the closet.

E- Sadly, no we can't, ......she's been so clingy to me lightly

T- An you don't like it

E- Not one bit

T- Isn't a boyfriend supposed to like when his girl is clingy to him

E- Not me, but she'll eventually stop

T- Ye-

M- Ugh maybe I should call him

      Ethan and I both look at each other, we both race to his pocket to silence his phone. I grab it and put the phone to silent, Meredith walks around seeing if she'll hear it.

       After Meredith leave Ethan and I come out of the closet and hang in his room, during that whole situation one question kept popping up in my head. Am I even loved.