The Princess Bride

Chapter 8

I hadn't planned on using the secret room as my hideout since Alex could easily find me here. But honestly, was any place off limits to him? It was expected that he would take me to his bed whenever he felt like it, so my personal chambers would likely be completely accessible to him now. At least this room was free of everyone else, and since Alex didn't know I was here, maybe he wouldn't find me either.

For a long while, I sat in a chair and stared out the window, wondering how different my life would be by the end of the day. My anger had faded some, and I was left mostly unsure of how to feel. Should I still be outraged or more worried? I loved Alex. I didn't want to believe that he could behave the way that Roberta had predicted, but why wouldn't he expect those changes to our relationship? I'd been expecting them later anyway, and there was no actual reason to resist any longer. Considering how essential an heir was, it almost seemed foolish to wait. And if he'd already been doing....those things with someone else all this time, why shouldn't he expect the same of me now?

The thought of him using me that way made me sick. More than anything else, it hurt to think of him planning it all this time without even telling me.

Outside, it was one of those rainy, gray days, and I couldn't help but think how appropriate it felt. But the view out the window, gave no indication of anything other than that it wasn't sunset yet, and so I wasn't sure how much time had passed when I heard the door open behind me. I hadn't been expecting Alex to find me but it wasn't very surprising that he had. My instinct before would have been to run to meet him, but at the moment, I was frozen with uncertainty.

He came up behind me, placed his hands on my arms and leaned down to kiss my cheek.

"Why didn't you send a note?" he asked, resting his cheek against mine.

What was I supposed to do? I was hesitant to act as I normally would by turning to him for a real kiss, since I wasn't sure how much he would expect after that, but I was also afraid that I might upset him by pulling away. How was I even supposed to talk to him now? Unsure of anything, I held still. Which apparently made him curious, because he stepped around the chair to face me.

"Is everything alright?" He crouched down so that he was at eye level.

I still didn't know what to do or say and so I could only watch him anxiously, wondering how well I really knew him.

"Keira, what's the matter?" He seemed completely baffled, and fairly concerned. That worried expression made my eyes fill with tears.

He placed his hands on my face, using his thumbs to wipe away the few tears that escaped.

"What is it?" he tried again.

Even if I'd been able to formulate an answer, I wouldn't have been able to say it. Seeing his obvious distress over me, I lost what little control I'd had over my emotions and began to cry.

Seeming nearly as upset as I was, he stood and pulled me into his arms, rubbing my back and trying to comfort me. His efforts almost made everything worse. I couldn't stand the thought of losing this Alex, the one who loved me without wanting to use me, and who I trusted more than anyone in the world.

"Please talk to me." He pulled away to see my face, once I calmed a little.

I had to say something, but I didn't even know where to start. Attempting to organize my thoughts, I looked away.

"What did you do today?" he asked after a moment. When I met his eyes again, I saw suspicion there. "You weren't upset this morning. Something must have happened during your time with Roberta."