forever and always | bang chan

four

Bang Chan's POV

"Abby!" I shouted and hurriedly hopped out of my car when I saw her fall down.

"What's wrong with you?" I scolded her from afar but when I got closer, she was unconscious.

"ABBY?" I tapped her cheek but there was no response.

I didn't think twice, I put her in the backseat of my car and I drove faster than ever to the nearest hospital. In less than 5 minutes, we arrived.

Nurses welcomed us and they acted quickly.

"I'm sorry but this is the farthest you can go, please stay outside." the nurse said.

"Fudge!" I pulled my hair out of frustration.

 I didn't even get the chance to think straight the whole time on the way here.

Why did I let her walk when I was behind her the whole time?

Why didn't I answer her calls when I was holding my phone the whole time?

Now here she is, in a hospital when I have no idea what happened!

I started blaming myself, I felt so worthless.

I called her mom and she rushed her way here.

"Where is she?" she asked frantically as she came in.

"S-she's about to enter her room now," I bowed. 

"I'm sorry I didn't look after her. This is my fault."

Her mom hugged me that melted the block in my heart that keeps it heavy all this time.

"Don't be. I knew this day would come." she half-heartedly smiled.

Huh? "What do you mean?" I asked.

She offered me a seat, and started talking.

"She was born with a hole in her heart..." Those words were enough to make me feel the world crumble before me.

 "Abby herself doesn't have any idea about her condition."

"How come she doesn't know?" I managed to ask with a lump in my throat.

Aunt Hyorin started tearing up, "I want her to grow up normally."

"I want her to feel like she isn't different from the others, I want her to have good memories of her life rather than spending it in the hospital," her mom said as I caressed her back.

"But I guess it really is inevitable, we can't manipulate her actions anymore unlike when she was a child." she started sobbing. 

"Please, keep it a secret from her. I j-just can't tell her right now. She isn't ready for this."

With that, I didn't let her continue. I know I may not understand how much it hurts for a mother, but my heart was shattered into pieces with what I just learned.

"I promise, I will take care of her more than ever. Trust me." I told her with a smile.

"Chan, I know this isn't the right time to ask this but... Do you like my daughter?" she asked straightly.

My mind was shocked, it couldn't process properly.

I took a deep breath and, "No. I'm sorry but I don't..." I started as I saw a disappointed look on Aunt Hyorin's face.

"because the truth is, I love your daughter very much."

"I've been loving her this whole time but I didn't have the courage to speak up. I didn't want to ruin our friendship."

"I love her, but I feel so worthless that I couldn't do anything to make her feel better. I'm so mad at myself for letting her walk when I was watching her all the time. I don't feel like I'm worth it."

"But why did you do that?" she asked.

I sighed and told her the truth, "I was jealous. The fact that I helped my bestfriend plan a date for her made me hate myself even more. I think I'll lose over Bambam with what I just did."

"I saw her smile, a smile I've never seen before. She flashed that very beautiful smile, I saw it but it wasn't for me," I stopped, I feel like my heart stopped beating with what I'm about to say. "it was for my bestfriend." I continued and tears pooled in my eyes which I hurriedly wiped.

"You got my support there, son." she told me and tapped my shoulders.

I felt better after I let out the feelings I've been keeping for so long.

"Ma'am, Sir. The patient is now in her room, you can go check her now. The doctor will come after a short while." the nurse informed us and we walked fast to her room which is still on the 4th floor.

We went inside her room and her mom suddenly hugged her. 

She was still unconscious. I can't see her like this.

I was staring at her the whole time when the doctor came.

"How is my daughter? Is she gonna be okay?" Aunt Hyorin quickly asked.

"Yes, she's in a good condition." the doctor started, "Atleast for now."

"What do you mean?" it was my turn to ask.

"The hole in her heart got bigger." with that one sentence, Aunt Hyorin lost it.

I held her to keep her up, she was shaking. 

"If it gets worst, she might have a heart attack that will cause her death."

I closed my eyes harshly.

No. That can't happen. It shouldn't.

"Please take care of her, I'll be giving her medicines through the IV but I suggest you continue this even at home. It will be good for her to stay here for a couple of days for us to monitor her." the doctor said and added a few reminders before leaving.

I was helping Aunt Hyorin calm down when my phone suddenly rang.

It's Jisung.

[ Hello? ]

[ Hyung, where are you? ]

[ I'm at the hospital right now, Jisung. I brought Abby here. ]

[ Why? What happened?!]

[ It's a long story, let's see each other tomorrow. Why did you call? ]

[ Well, we've been trying to reach you all day long! ] I heard Woojin's voice.

[ You know we have a debut to prepare but you didn't show up. ] It was Changbin.

A few more scolding from the members before they decided to put off the call.

It's been a long day, and it's already midnight.

I offered her mom to go home and told her I'd be looking after Abby until she wakes up.

She insisted to stay but in the end she agreed so that she can get some things from their house.

As I got back in the hospital after driving Aunt Hyorin home, I saw Bambam beside Abby who's still sleeping, caressing her hair.

I felt like my heart was stabbed a million times.

I decided to close the door, and just go to my members who needs me.

It hurts like hell.

I'm sorry Abby, I didn't want to leave you.

As much as I want me to be the first one you'll see once you wake up...

I know you want to see a different person, and that's not me.