forever and always | bang chan

eight

It's been like forever since I saw Chan with my cousin. Actually, there were rumors going around that Chan is dating someone. K-fans already heard about this and I'm worried about his career.

He blocked me in all his personal social media accounts. I can't reach out to his number, too. I just want to pull out the knife that was stabbed in my heart a month ago when his cold eyes pierced through me. I wanted to feel better. I want my bestfriend back.

Even Haia was acting weird, she would always excuse herself everytime I try to talk to her because it's the only freakin way to get to Chan. So I chose to just stop trying reaching out to her because she's not of any help anyway.

Today, I decided to go to out because I'm tired of locking myself up in my room. Also, mom won't let me leave the house especially now that Bambam is in Thailand and Chan is nowhere to be found by me.

Before leaving the house, I started tidying up the house. Just so that mom won't be mad at me when she finds out that I went out. Brilliant as ever, Abby!

I blasted out Day6 songs that can be heard in all corners of the house.  Ahh, how I love them and their songs!

Swipe there, swipe here.

Dust there, dust here.

Fluff, fluff.

Just straighten up some more...

Voila!

Is there such thing as overcleaning? 'Cause I think I just did.

Quickly, I took a bath and wore comfy clothes. It's sunny today, eh?

I hailed a cab to go to Namsan. As the car engined roared to life, I looked around. Surely, Korea is a beautiful place.

"Why are you out on such a hot weather?" the ahjussi asked me.

"I just wanted to get some fresh air. How about you? Isn't it tiring to drive all day?" I asked him back because I think he's too old to work.

"I still have a son to send in college. Even I wish to retire and enjoy the rest of my days, but I can't." I didn't see any trace of sadness or anything in his eyes as he smiled at me.

I smiled back at him. "Kamsahamnida." I bowed as I hopped out of his car when we stopped at Namsan. He asked me to take care and he left. I adore that ahjussi.

I rode the cable car and had no choice but to close my eyes since I'm with no one and I'm afraid of heights. I'm used to going here with Chan.

Oops, erase that!

Once I reached the top, I can't help but be in awe with the amazing scenery. It's been the nth time I went here but it still amazes me everytime I do.

I walked around and saw couples holding love locks, ready to put them here. I suddenly missed my Bambam. He's been away for too long now, not that I'm not used to it but because I can't help but miss him.

I tried calling him, so I dialed his number since I got a new phone and I don't have my contacts yet. Good thing I memorized his number.

I hope he answers even though my number is unfamiliar to him. After a few rings, he answered.

"Yobo--"

"Bambam!!" I squealed. There was no answer.

"Annyeooooong? Kunpimook Bhuwakul?" I said his name playfully.

He still ain't responding!

I sighed and just talked because this already happened. He wasn't responding and he explained afterwards that there were people around but he's actually listening.

"I'm in Namsan right now..." I sighed. I feel so lonely now that I'm thinking of it.

"Ya, neomu bogoshippeo." I told him and I received a text message from the number I saved as Bambam's.

뱀뱀:

Who are you with?

I smiled, knowing that he can not be able to talk but still wants to talk.

"Hmm, no one." I replied but I realized what I just said. "Uhh I just went out without permission, I'm sorry." I continued and I heard a sigh from the other line.

I was explaining when rain suddenly poured. Oh my, I didn't bring an umbrella because I was sure the sun was brightly shining minutes ago!

I bid my goodbye to him and I ran for shelter. Ugh, I never liked rain! It just gives me this stinky feeling and gloomy vibes.

Sigh, I shouldn't have left home. It seems that the rain won't stop any minute and now, I'm stranded.

Plus, mom told me that I shouldn't do anything that will give me colds. I don't know why but she's very strict about it.

Now that I'm thinking of it, maybe one time wouldn't hurt?

I reached out my palm to feel the heavy drops of rain. Here goes nothing.

I ran, feeling the raindrops through my skin. My hair was getting wetter every second. Gosh, forgive me, eomma.

Panting, I stopped at the waiting shed to wait for a bus. It's sooooo cold!

I'm freaking regretting my life desicions.

"Achoo!"

Was that from me?

That fast?!

Oh, I remembered that I actually ran a long distance. I'm such a fool.

My heart started pounding hard, oh no. Not again.

I just found myself sitting by the pavement, holding my chest. My breathing ragged.

Why am I always like this?

I can still feel the raindrops as I struggled in breathing. Damn, is having a cold related in breathing difficulties? All I know is that the nose will clog, but the pain I'm feeling is extreme.

With so much pain, I closed my eyes as I was still feeling the raindrops.

Suddenly, there was no rain in contact with my clothes.

I opened my eyes, and my blurry vision saw a guy holding an umbrella out for me.

"Kamsahamnida, op—", but I didn't get to finish my sentence, the pain wasn't of any help.

I knew I just had to give up.