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now playing: letting go by day6
I opened a hospital door, just for my heart to dissolve into powdered pieces when I saw her unconscious on the bed.
What hurts more? I'm one of the reasons why.
She didn't even have the chance to fight, because she had no idea. She had to suffer clueless, she suffered without knowing what was wrong.
I feel so stupid for not telling her the moment I knew.
I'm stupid for letting her mom continue. It was so selfish of her but I understood why she didn't want to tell her but it didn't occur to me about the consequences.
"Love, please wake up..." I whispered as I caressed her hair. All these tubes connected to her are making it worst! All these monitors are suffocating me.
I removed the mask I needed to wear together with the hospital gown to enter her room so that I can talk comfortably.
"I need you, love. Please open your eyes for me?" I felt tears stream down my face without consent.
I probably look sick right now, how can I be okay when the love of my life isn't?
How can I be at ease when my everything might be gone in a blink of an eye?
"Chan..." I almost jumped when I heard a voice call me. I turned my head to see who it was, and it was her mom.
"Did you get enough rest?" I asked, because I let her go home to get sleep. It's the second day of her being asleep and the doctors doesn't know when she'll wake up.
All they told us was that, she got lucky that we rushed her to the hospital right away.
That didn't help me from blaming myself, though.
"Do you think she will forgive me?" her mom asked me.
I got tensed when she asked that, because I don't know either. Abby has been hurt enough and I understand if she will be mad, well mad is an understatement.
"It doesn't matter, mom. I just want my love to wake up." I said and grabbed Abby's hand. I would never want to let go of them.
Today, I'm at our dorm and with the boys. Abby still isn't waking up.
I never want to leave her side but I had to go today. It's not good for a leader to slack off. Especially now that we're rookies.
