forever and always | bang chan

seven

When I saw the flash, I immediately turned to Bambam who's now in the driver's seat.

I heaved a sigh of relief when I saw Bambam holding his polaroid camera. "That flash was from you?" 

He chuckled. "Yes, I was supposed to take a picture of you secretly but there was suddenly a flash.

The engine roared and we held hands on the way home. "Are you happy?" he asked when we stopped in front of our house.

"Yes. Thank you." I smiled and he smiled as well. After, I went inside and that's when he left.

It was a night to remember. I felt like I was in a fairytale. I was living my dreams, it's surreal. I never thought I'd actually have Bambam.

When I reached my room, there was a box on my bed. I opened it, and there was a teddy bear inside. It smells exactly like him...

I hugged it and it said, "Saranghae." with Bambam's voice record..

"Omo!" I gasped, because it shocked me.

When I realized Bambam's voice tape was in it, I smiled. I opened the letter attached to it, and it said... "When I'm away, just hug this bear so that you'll be reminded of how much I love and miss you too. Neomu saranghae, Abby."

Damn you, Kunpimook Bhuwakul.

The next day, I opened my phone to see what Bambam sent me.

I played the video and it showed Bambam still in his pajamas, dabbing.

Sigh, believe it or not, it really is the first thing he does when he wakes up.

After laughing at the video for so long, I went to take a shower and got my jumper shorts and a plain top. I'd be visiting the boys at their practice room today.

Plus, I want to surprise Chan. I miss him, really.

Actually, it's 9 in the morning and I got up to make lunch for Chan and his members. I'm not yet that good at cooking but I poured all my heart in making the lunch boxes. It was 11 A.M. when I finished, just in time.

Once done, I got the food and hailed a cab to get there. 

When I got to the building, I went straight to their practice room but I only saw 8 boys.

"I think he fetched someone, what's her name again?" Hyunjin asked Seungmin. Seungmin shrugged. 

"He fetched someone? Her? It's a girl?" I asked Woojin hyung. "Ne, she's here for about 2 months now." he replied.

Maybe someone who trains them? 

I decided to watch the 8 boys and stay for a while to wait for Chan.

They were laughing and laughing with each other's mistakes, as they were practicing the choreography of their new song.

Their smiles are so heartwarming, now that they're going to debut soon. I can feel their happiness to debut with each other. Except the fact that they'd be dealing with Jisung's messy habit for many years.

Suddenly, the atmosphere changed. All of them shut up.

Chan entered the room, his hand was holding Haia's hand.

What's this?

I stood up, but he didn't even look at me. Why is he like this?

The boys were silent, some were peeking at me.

I'm confused.

"C-chan." I called out, this time, he looked at me. 

His cold eyes pierced through me as I felt my heart breaking. 

But I'm his bestfriend, and he's looking at me like this... What did I do wrong?

"H-have you eaten?, I'm bringing lunch." I told him. "No, thanks. We'll be eating out." he said and I saw Haia's confused face with Chan's attitude.

Chan told Haia, "Let's go." before he stormed out.

"But you just got here..." I whispered.

Haia turned to me and waved at me before they disappeared.

I looked at the lunch I made for Chan, and smiled bitterly.

"Noona, gwaenchanayo?" Jeongin asked me, and I just smiled at him.

The boys gathered around and the atmosphere got lively again.

"Mokja!" Jisung shouted and they got the lunch boxes I brought for them. I watched him stuff his face with the food, kyeowo!

I pinched Jisung's cheek. This squirrel is the most extra of them all.

"Wow, this is so good!" Felix showed a thumbs up. 

I watched them happily eating, and Changbin's sigh of relief because he didn't have to clean up before them because the boxes where disposable. 

"Thanks for the meal!" they said together. They went back to practicing but I saw Chan's box that was made specially for him. The whole time I was inside the room, I was wearing a fake smile just to show the boys that I'm okay. I'm not.

I have so many questions in my head. I don't know how to find the answers to my questions. What did I do wrong? Why is he so cold to me all of a sudden? 

When it was afternoon, I decided to go home. I felt exhausted when I literally just sat down the whole time.

Seungmin volunteered to walk me to my home, which is a good thing because I can have this opportunity to ask my questions.

"Seungminnie, is Chan dating Haia?" I asked him.

"I don't know, noona. We all don't know. He's been really secretive lately." he answered and I nodded.

"He likes Haia?" I asked again. He answered hesitantly, "I-I think so."

When we reached my house, I thanked him and went inside.

I closed my bedroom door, and leaned against it. This was my cue to let it all out. 

I don't know why I was crying, all I know was.. I am hurt.

They say crying will make my heart feel at ease, but at this point, I couldn't breathe.

I held my chest, "Abby?" I heard Bambam calling me as he knocks on the door.

"B-bambam..." I moved so that Bambam can open the door, and he did.

"Abby?! What's wrong with you?" he started to panic when I closed my eyes.

I don't know either, Bambam. 

I heard mom crying due to worry, but as minutes passed, the pain became bearable.

"I'm okay, don't worry..." I calmly said when I opened my eyes.

Mom hugged me immediately. "What happened to you?" she asked.

I explained to them everything, and Bambam said Chan was treating him the same and he doesn't know why.

Mom went to buy something, and Bambam tried to call Chan.

After 5 tries, Chan answered.

"Yoboseyo?" I heard him from the other line.

Bambam whispered something on the phone, which I didn't hear but I'm certain that Bambam told Chan about what happened.

All I heard was that, "I can't go, I have many other priorities. Annyeong." and he hung up.

Woah, you're hurting me big time.

I felt like I just lost a friend, Bambam hugged me.

"I'm here for you."

I don't know why, but with what he said, my heart just shattered even more.

What is this feeling?