Bonded in the Silence: A Reylo Fanfiction

Chapter 1: Glimpse

Author's Note: Thanks so much for cracking open my first fan fiction! So far it has been received well. These first seven chapters will be short and slow as I started them right when the The Last Jedi was released, but will be re-edited over time to bring them up to the same pace as the rest of the book. Enjoy - I promise you won't be disappointed by Rey and Kylo's progression here.

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"See ya 'round, kid"

The haughty last words of Luke Skywalker echoed through Kylo Ren's mind; the tone of victory in his uncle's voice haunting him, even through the molten shower water cascading over his body. Eyes squeezed shut in desperation as his forehead pressed against the cold steel wall, Ren's will to close out the tormenting voice of Luke only succeeded from time to time.

Months of sleepless nights had passed since the battle on Crait when he'd stormed the abandoned base only to find no sign of the Resistance; the breathless, ephemeral moment when the bond opened not to feminine compassion, but the crucifying gaze of the scavenger instead.

He could have burned to a cinder where he knelt in that empty command post.

"Strike me down, and I'll always be with you. Just like your father."

Luke's words rang loud and clear; so certain, so rife with knowing that all control was lost to him. The brute force of a fist slammed into the steel wall, the ringing of metal loudly filling the bathing unit.

Pushing the sopping, dark hair out of his eyes with a wince, he stood back to survey the single dent that marred the previously perfect surface. The knuckles of his right hand were acutely swelling, but rather than dwell on the pain, Ren just pushed it away; mentally, that ache was as far from him as it could be.

Drawing on anger and hate in tandem had become second nature in his time with the First Order, regret and doubt non-existent in his pursuits, until the death of Han Solo.

Death, murdered, gone...it was all the same up until then.

Destruction stoked his misunderstood rage, upholding him in his own righteousness and justification. The hole of a broken home responsible for the source of his pain, young Ben filled it instead with what initially appeared as adoration from Snoke; but through the years, every word he hung on from that disfigured phantom only starved him further of affirmation. Nothing quenched his thirst quite like it once did; everything rang hollow in the abyss inside him, a gaping void hungry and ultimately denied.

Ren had expelled the apex of his pain and fury in the final swing that would cleave his uncle in two, but the lightsaber never connected. Realization dawned on him as the projection faded, and Kylo immediately understood the Jedi had become one with the Force.

"You're not doing this...the effort would kill you" echoed the words he'd stated to Rey the first moment they connected through the Force. Snoke had taught him well on the cost of such reach.

His uncle had sacrificed himself to be there, not only to delay him for the Resistance to escape, but surprisingly confess what no father-figure had before.

"I failed you, Ben. I'm sorry."

The purpose of the exposition was not lost on him.

Ren raised his forearm against his forehead, teeth grit in suppressed emotion, and reached to blindly disengage the water in the unit. The sound of dripping water trickled down off his body as he stilled himself and visualized binding the feelings up with red cords, choking it till he felt no more. Aching eyes throbbed of a relentless headache from...grief? He wasn't sure he could accept that emotion.