Bonded in the Silence: A Reylo Fanfiction

Chapter 4: Pain

Long after the mess hall emptied of resistance soldiers, the base quieted down to the low hum of generators and flickering lights. A single light shone in the dim hanger bay beneath a grounded X-wing, illuminating a small area riddled with tools and a moving figure.

Rey fiddled tirelessly with the panels on the X-wing until finally one came off it's bracket with a wrenching sound. She smiled at the reward of her persistence, and flipped the panel back and forth between her hands.

It's...so dense. Meant for defence, not so much speed as the Tie Fighters.

She laid the panel on the ground beside her as she reached back up inside the unit, and groped around for the ends of wires to unplug.

The day was lonely, even though she was surrounded by so many people who seemed to like her companionship. Her usual company had invited her to come have a drink at the small after-hours canteen at the base, but Rey politely declined and cited tiredness was to blame. Truthfully though, she just needed time to think alone and fiddle with something.

Her habits of scavenging hadn't left her all this time, and sometimes spent her evenings in the dark of the hanger bay, discovering the complicated circuitry and workings of the ships. She took things apart and put them back together for hours, finding solitude in the mental work required to recall the order of dislodging and re-attaching panels and control boards.

It was so restful for her spirit, to pull things apart and put them back together again, broken or not.

As her fingers worked inside the ship, her mind wandered to her memories of the island of Ahch-To. She missed the sea-spray when she stood on the edge of the cliffs, and the sensation of rain on her skin. All of it was so foreign to a sand planet dweller.

She yanked her hand out of the ship underbelly and pulled a weapon control board with it. One by one, she carefully plied the wires out of the side of it, mentally noting what color went where, and why.

A hollow rushing sound of air broke her concentration, and before she even looked up from the control board, she felt him. He was like a heavy, permeating smoke to her soul.

Rey slowly lifted her head, bracing herself inwardly.

Kylo Ren stood no more than a few feet from her. His broad figure cloaked in an enormous cape that blocked out the light from the adjacent corridor. His back was to her as if he had been in the middle of walking away from something.

She heard him exhale quietly. He turned slowly and his hazel eyes connected with her own.

Rey's heart hammered nervously inside her chest and rang in her ears but still she did not break his unwavering gaze. She searched his eyes freely as she imagined stone walls surrounding her mind to protect her thoughts, even if her body was giving her away.

His eyes were unreadable, and she sensed he was also shielding his thoughts from her. She reached out with her mind, and softly probed for the edges of his psyche. Only cold, invisible walls were found, and they pulsed back against her probing.

Kylo flinched, and she retreated back within herself. Rey cleared her throat.

"Why is this still happening?" Her words softer and quieter than she meant for them to be.

He studied her intensely for a moment before answering.

"The bond would have died with Snoke had he certainly bridged our minds. This exists because the Force wills it."

He turned away again and Rey blinked back wetness that unconsciously had formed in her eyes at the sound of his voice. That deep familiar voice that once comforted her in the firelight on Ahch-To.

She swallowed hard as she straightened her posture while on her knees, and laid the control board down quietly next to her.
"I'm glad to see that you're alive" she said, her words closing out in a pained whisper.

Ren half-turned his body again and stared at her from the corners of his eyes, brows furrowed sharply and the muscles in his jaw clenching visibly in the shadows.

"Had you not attempted to kill me with the very lightsaber I saved you with...I could almost say the same."

His words stung, but Rey was not surprised. When she had awoken after the lightsaber had split in the throne room, she didn't wait for Kylo to wake up. She recalled how she hastily picked up as many of the broken lightsaber pieces as she could see.

She'd stood over his unconscious body, clinging to all the pieces as she wept quietly before finally departing the throne room, escaping the First Order vessel.

"Ben," she begged, rising to her feet, "I wasn't trying to kill you...I was trying to leave!"

The bond flared hot with his anger as Ren whipped around, and in two sweeping strides, alarmingly filled the space between them.

He leaned over her, his mouth painfully twisted around bared teeth.
"You were...abandoning me," he hissed, "and you're no better than anyone else in my life. You're just as wretched as your own parents."

Rey's hand flew to her mouth.

Ren gritted his teeth tightly, and leaned his head closer to hers, as he spoke now in a low growl.

"Snoke is dead by my hand...I risked everything to save your life, Rey!"

A small sob escaped her even with a hand pressed over her lips. It was not her pain she felt in her chest, but that of Ren's. The bond was heavy with unhindered anguish, singing with a sadness born of rejection.

Rejection that centred around...her.

Rey was not looking directly at him for the duration of when he was so close, but her eyes flicked upwards to meet his as the realization hit her.

Ren was panting heavily, breathless from his outburst, but the moment their eyes locked he was silenced by a flutter of compassion that touched him somewhere in his mind. He blinked back in confusion.

And then he was gone.