Idk <3 (Brandon X Robert)

Chapter 23 pills

Amber

I sit in my bedroom tears streaming down the sides of my face . Owen left a minuet or two after Brandon , leaving me completely alone ... with my thoughts.

I never once considered Brandon as bisexual, never once has he hit on a guy and he's never dated one . What made him change ? He must be lying to me , he's probably off with some other girl doing who knows what... but In all honesty if it was a boy or a girl I'd still be heartbroken . I pick up my phone , the same phone I used to call Brandon when I missed him , the same phone I used to text Owen last night ... I shut my eyes, forcing tears to roll down my face and splash onto the glowing screen. I throw my phone. It lands on the bed and I continue to break down , letting my knees buckle and fall to the floor with a thud.

I can't be like this forever... But in the end I won't be here forever , i'll be forgotten eventually so what's the point in sitting here , crying here, breathing here . I messed up and I do that a lot ... I shouldn't be here , messing up other people's lives, because I desperately need someone by my side , making sure I'm OK , keeping me stable and happy. Now thanks to me I have no one ... why do I do this to myself , this is all my fault... I want to get out.
I stand up , my knees shaking and weak , I'm so pathetic... I start to make my way to the bathroom , one thing in my mind at this moment ... pills , pills , pills . I collapse again screaming out in frustration at how freaking weak I am.

I glance over at the phone on my bed , my instincts force me to crawl over to it and pick it up .

I turn it on again and go to the first contact that I can think of . Louise. I fumble with the phone as my breath shakes , typing a message that I hope she reads ... before it's too late.

Brandon

The buss shifts my weight and bumps me up and down ever so slightly as it takes turns and drives forward at a steady pace . As I wait for the stop to get off at I scroll through my old pictures, most are of me and amber ...

I don't know if I did the right thing.

I miss amber so much . I miss her hands , her eyes, her smile... I choke back tears as my eyes flicker over the pictures on my screen. Then I remember Owen . One of my best friends since collage , and now that's all gone , he's gone , she's gone and I'm left with an empty heart . I crave for Roberts arms to wrap around me and comfort me , I wish he could tell me that everything is going to be alright.

Suddenly the buss comes to a stop I don't recognise and a boy with playful brown curls and warm green eyes steps on . Don't I know him?

I clap my hand over my mouth as I come to realise , pj ... THE pj , is sitting next to me! I pull my hand away from my mouth and press my lips into a line before blurting out "Hi I'm Brandon I'm a huge fan and your going to collab with my boyfriend." I clap my hand over my mouth again as he turns to look at me . I can't believe I called Robert my boyfriend. "Oh um thank you? And are you talking about Robert?" I nod vigorously at his mention of Roberts name . He quirks an eye brown at me and coughs awkwardly "um so are you going to be filming with us today?" He looks at me but avoids looking into my eyes. "Well I don't know , i'll have to ask him" I shrug looking away from pj , the vibe getting weirder and weirder as each second passes ...

Comment , vote and share :3 thank you everyone who's gotten this far into the book 😂 I can't believe I'm on chapter 23 already! What am I doing with my life ... any ways hope you all liked the chapter 👌