The past that was ignored. [Completed]

Chapter 11

Kim Taehyung POV

"Sigh, Should I continue this?" I said to myself in front of the mirror. My bangs that starting to get longer stay unbothered covering small part of my eyes.

I don't know what to do. Should I continue this? How to tell them? They will be hurt again. ARMYs. That one name also keep appear in my mind. How to tell them?

To think about it now, I such a bother. The other members are happy before all of this. Guess what? I'm going to ruin it again.

I look at my pale face and start to walk out of the room not looking up. When I walk into the car, I'm the first one and decided to take  the sit that are at the back. Before the members arrive, I quickly put on my earphone.

I close my eyes and pretending to sleep. When they enter, I can hear all of them turn silent and enter slowly. I can felt the warmness beside me. I know one of the member sit beside me.

"I miss you Tae." The member whispered. Its Jimin. When my brain done processing the word, I can hear my heart broke into pieces.

'I miss you too.' I can only say that in my mind and just froze. I don't know what happened, but what I know, suddenly one hand touched my shoulder and shake it. Quite rough actually.

I opened my eyes slowly to see all the members are looking at me with a concern. WHY ARE THEY SO KIND?! They should not worried about me at this point. They should hate me.

But I can't lie that a small part of my heart happy knowing they still worried about me. Stop it, Tae..

"Tae, are you okay? You are crying while sleeping." Jimin said and his soft and angelic voice just make me want to tear up more.

"Yeah, I'm worried." Namjoon hyung suddenly said and I look at him. I'm pretty sure my eyes have pool of tears waiting to flow on my cheeks.

I look outside and realize that we almost arrived at the building. When I look back at the members, they still look at me not making a move to go out from the car.

"I'm fine. Just a nightmare." I said simply and proceed to walk away. Sigh, You did well, Tae. Just a little bit more.

While practice, surprisingly none of them talk to me. I should happy that they ignore me but why? Why I felt so empty? Why?

Same old empty feeling in my heart.

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[Time skip]

We practice until the night come and greet us. The night that are filled with stars. Stars are so pretty right? But there are not lasting long.

When we arrived at home, they are still not talking to me. Is this what I want? I keep asking this question.

"Tae, we need to talk." Jin hyung said firmly and its look like all the members already know cause they look determine.

I nodded my head without saying anything and walk to sit on the sofa. I look at them. Should I tell them now? Should I?

"Hyung-" I'm about to talk but Seokjin hyung cut me off.

"Tae, what is your problem? We are family right? If you have problem you can tell us." He said and look straight into my eyes.

"But..." I try to find the suitable words to say. I really want to tell everything and find comfort but I don't know how to say it.

"But what Tae? Let me ask you honestly Tae. Did you really forgive us? You did all of this to take a revenge on us? Stop it, Tae. Stop with all the act. We already apologize what more that you want. Seriously, I'm tired of everything." Hoseok said with frustration in his voice clear like a crystal.

I freeze with what he said though. Like how...

"W-wait, what? Is that what you think all this time? Is that what I look like to you guys? YES! I still can't forget what you guys did! What will you guys do?! I thought..." You guys trust me. I really want to tell the truth. I did all of this cause I want to make you guys happy, because you guys are the reason there is smile on my face.  I continue the line in my head. I'm really speechless.

"I'm tired. I will go back to my room. Good night." I said and walk away from them. I can't believe it.

"Relax, Tae. This is what you want." I whispered to myself and go straight to the bed. Nobody know how much I cried.

I close my eyes with tears there, just like always. I close my eyes in hope that this nightmare will end and when I opened my eyes everything will be okay. All of that are just a hope. The hope that will never come true cause you know why? This is not the nightmare. Its the reality that I need to live with.

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Note

Yes I come back. Sorry for the really late update. I'm really sorry.

Please stay positive, stay happy and stay healthy.

Talking about health, yeah, I have a fever right now. Unbelievable, and its exam weeks. This happened twice already. Why did I always sick when its exam😖

I still have one week of exam and 9 papers to go. Urghhhh, such a long exam. I can't believe I have been through 15 papers. Let's hoping my body still can do it just for a week more. I need to study really😒 and want to know more bad news? Tomorrow I have school and tomorrow is Saturday😫

BTW drink more water and take a enough sleep. Thats all!

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!