Dark Night

November

Overall, things started being better for me. I made friends with the skateboarders and had people to sit with at lunch where I didn't have to work at making conversation, it just flowed. And I spent more time out of the house and at the park when I wasn't studying or working. It was nice to meet people not in my classes or even my high school--there were kids from the other school as well as a few home schooled kids and all ages. Zayna introduced me to some friends of hers and that was awesome. We did other stuff, too, like movies and just hanging out. We formed a study group for the college boards too and included other juniors as well. John came to some of them and they were both fun and helpful. Nobody had to buy a lot of study material that way. Mom and Dad gave me the money for the tests when I preregistered, but Dad questioned whether I really needed to do the ACT writing test, which is a separate thing with another fee.

"It's important to the California schools," I said, controlling my temper. "Which you used as a big selling point when we moved here. But if money's that tight, that's ok. I can take care of sixteen dollars."

Dad reddened. "We can afford that. But I don't like your tone, Delia."

"What? It's a legitimate question. You cut off my allowance so you could put that toward the endless expenses of your son," I flared up.

"Stan's your brother," Mom said. "We're a family. And we're all making sacrifices."

I snorted, resentment flaring up. "Really. Because I'm not really feeling the family vibe."

"This is probably a bad time to bring this up, but the check engine light came on in my car," Stan spoke up. And once again, I was the one who had to give up something.

I was still a little angry when I picked Stan up at the car place and drove to my school the next morning and we got into a fight, which quickly escalated. "You used to be a nice guy, Stan, but since we came out here you've turned into a real ass," I said tightly. "Contrary to your expectations, the solar system does not in fact revolve around you. But maybe you'd know that if you bothered to learn anything in school rather than just coasting."

"You're just jealous that I'm getting the attention," Stan shot back, accurately in terms of the family. "But what can you expect, Del? I'm the one with the talent. You weren't even planned, you were an accident." I jerked to a stop in front of the school and tried to get a grip on myself. I wanted to scream and cry and beat the crap out of him and explode and run away, simultaneously, and none of it would be a good idea.

"I know you think you deserve the best of everything, and Mom and Dad may give you everything you want because it's easier than arguing with you, but Grandpa gave me this car so I could get around safely. You can't have it just because you think it's cooler and it's newer than the one you got for your birthday  and it's something that you want. And if you're a second late, I will call him tonight and ask him to take it back. Because I'm sick of having to give up everything for you." I kept my tone quiet and level with a huge expenditure of effort, and got out of the car.

"Del, come on!" Stan said, getting out too. "Ok, maybe I went too far--"

"Shut up," I spat. "I mean it. You'd better be waiting when I get done with work and in the passenger seat. And don't call me Del. You know I don't like it."

"Is that Starry Knight?" a girl gasped, stopping on the sidewalk . I turned and walked quickly to the doors and inside. By lunch, the news had circulated.

"I didn't even know Starry had a sister," one girl said, and my gym teacher seemed disappointed when I didn't know anything about how he trained.

I was glad for once when nobody was home after school, and I got my homework done and made a sandwich to take with me. I wasn't hungry, but maybe I would be by my break. I relaxed when I took the first cart out to be reshelved and got some chips from the vending machine to accompany my sandwich when I finally took my break. And I got a boost from a note in my page mailbox, from Ms de Carvalho, saying she could use some help repairing books and asking if I wanted to learn.