Dark Night

Bit of Irish

I was glad to be home with Grandpa and all my friends. The time that we had as a group was coming to an end; Zayna was graduating with her Masters this spring and the rest of us were getting our the next year. We'd be scattering, pursuing jobs and the rest of our lives. I spent as much time with them as I could, grateful that Cass had helped me get my head on straight. We talked about everything, pretty much, including how Maya had bumped into Robert Downey Jr downtown and just about flatlined from geek overload. She had a pic with him to prove it. (The encounter, not the reaction. She did look thrilled, though, and he looked like a good sport.) I spent most of the rest of my time with Grandpa; just enjoying the time with him and the cats but also telling him about my problems and getting his advice. He had a lot of life experience and was a good listener. He thought that I should get some perspective; while it's important to have meaningful work, it's not all that there is to life--or it shouldn't be. He told me to think bigger, and I was left to ponder that. I heard back from my faculty advisor; he had given me small projects through the quarter to expose me to different facets of study and I'd chosen my emphasis in physical oceanography,  freshwater, estuarine and coastal processes. My faculty committee was poring over this and was expected to ok it, so I could get to work when I got back. I needed to take some microbiology, which I'd start on next quarter. A few basic micro undergrad courses, not too much work. He also wanted me to consider teaching at least two quarters next year. But to balance this out, he pointed me in the direction of a summer experience at Trinity College in Dublin, courses in  environmental and chemical analysis, which was a lecture, and practical environmental skills, a lab which included a week in Southern Portugal to practice environmental surveying. These were graduate level courses, but outside my focus, and he thought that time in a different country, having new experiences, would also help me with my work/life balance in addition to providing me with new skills. So I filled that application as well as slogging through scholarship applications. I was actually looking forward to PhD studies, where I could apply for grant money. My brother had had a good first semester, earning a 3.2, which was the best GPA of his life for full-time study. I was very proud of him. He felt that he was getting the hang of being a better student (his C had come in algebra) and was determined to get a better GPA each semester.

It was a busy break, but worthwhile, and Grandpa's advice helped me feel more stable when I went back to school following a great New Year's Eve party. When I got back, I enrolled in trapeze school at the Santa Monica Pier. It was a pretty good workout, tons of fun, and I had to concentrate, keeping my brain focused on something other than my studies, which was precisely what I wanted.  And I dipped my toe into the dating pool again, more for diversion than the expectation of getting into another relationship. It worked; it forced me to balance my activities better and I had fun. My therapist was very pleased with my progress and I felt like she'd signed off on my mental health when we ended the sessions. That might not be true, but I thought that I had a lot more tools to maintain my mental balance; sort of like I was standing on one of those wobble boards but now I knew how to make corrections. Winter quarter passed by smoothly and I felt much more enthusiastic about school and my life in general. It was harder to make friends in grad school, and my neighbors weren't rude, just heads-down in their studies. Cass and John and I got in the habit of cooking dinner in somebody's place every other week. The normal criteria was that we had to try something new each time, but there was a special pass if anybody felt like making Mrs Park's barbeque. It didn't happen much--it required a lot of time, but wasn't hard and always delicious. I also had a pass any time I wanted to make soba noodles.  For spring break, I stayed in town with my friends and we spent our time poking around the city. I also surfed six days of the nine, my favorite early mornings, and this really helped me feel like my psychic tank was refilled.