Dark Night

Cold war

Gail warmed up somewhat in the next couple of weeks, but she still wasn't what you could consider open and friendly. And that was ok with me, at least I had Serafina, who was top-notch as a roommate. We made our plans for spring break and purchased our tickets for Disneyland, splurging and getting a three-day pass; the dorms weren't closed so we wouldn't have to worry about housing. She'd been before, but not for five or six years. 

Serafina hadn't been able to find out much about why Gail had switched rooms, but our RA said that ours was one of very few rooms that were open and there were more requests than open spaces. She was quiet and kept to herself, and that beat the alternative. I made an effort to be friendly to her and invite her to meals on the rare occasions that we were in the room together, but she never took me up on the offer, and Serafina quit asking her to do things with either her or us entirely. It was three weeks before we met her boyfriend, who wasn't any friendlier. He nodded at Gail's introduction and shook my hand, but that was it. I found him a little intimidating; he obviously worked out and was over six feet tall.

John and I picked a different day when we could have lunch and study together. He was seeing somebody too, so we never mentioned the talk we were going to have at the end of the first quarter. But I was seeing a resurgence in his sense of humor and he was cutting his therapy back to every other week. He seemed more confident, and I was so relieved to see my friend feel stronger. I went to his grandparents a couple of time for dinner with him and got an education in Korean food. So delicious. Mrs Park liked it when I came, she said she enjoyed feeding kids with healthy appetites. She didn't say it in a mean way, so I didn't feel like a pig, which, frankly, I was at her table. It was all too good to pass up.

At the beginning of March, Arthur and I parted company. It was just over for him. And although I didn't love him, I really did like him, enjoyed spending time with him, and it hurt to be dumped. Serafina was sympathetic, handing me tissues and listening, dispensing hugs as needed. Gail came in during this, picked up what happened, and shrugged. Serafina scowled at her.

"You could try to be nice," she snapped. "Delia's been nothing but nice to you."

"She'll move on soon enough," Gail said. "Girls like you have it easy."

'What?" I asked, confused.

"Everything comes easy for both of you," she said. "You're pretty and popular, you can find yourself space in just about anybody's bed."

"Bitch," Serafina spat, and Gail glared at us.

"The pair of you act like the world belongs to you, like you can snap your fingers and everything you want is yours. Entitled bitches."

"It's called confidence," Serafina said heatedly. "And we work hard for our accomplishments. If you feel like there's nothing for other people to see in you, that's your problem, maybe there isn't. But don't slag people because you're jealous. You have no idea what our stories are because you never cared to ask. Go on and be wallpaper if you want."

The confrontation did have the effect of jolting me out of my pity party. Serafina towed me out, though, for a sympathetic  milkshake.

My friends treated me gently until I got my feet under me, at least enough for finals, and the intensive study helped me get over myself. John couldn't have been sweeter, worried that I wasn't allowing myself enough time to get over it. "I know it wasn't really serious, Leia, but he was still special to you and you're entitled to feel bad that it's over," he said, and brought me little treats to our study sessions.

Things were deteriorating on the roommate front. Gail was watching her TV one evening; we agreed to switch the cable whenever one of us wanted to watch TV; I didn't usually watch mine so it was mostly on hers. It was Nationals again and I wanted to see my brother's long program; he'd been nearly perfect in the short and he was running away with the competition. I asked Gail if I could just watch five minutes of TV. She slurped her soda and said no.