Dark Night

Finishing out the year

But before there could be more adventures, I had to get through two more quarters, and Winter quarter was going to be the most challenging so far. I went into my classroom with more nerves than I'd ever had as a student myself, but there were about thirty students, not too many, and they paid attention as I introduced myself and briefly went over the syllabus before getting into the subject matter. I quickly learned that teaching is a lot more than lecturing and testing. Some of the students apparently sensed that this was my first teaching assignment and wanted to push my buttons a bit--not too much, I was still grading them and there was (at my advisor's urging) a 5% fudge factor for class participation that could potentially either raise or knock down a grade. But most of the kids were nice, there to learn, and uninterested in power struggles, which made it easier to really engage with the class. I found that I liked it a lot more than I'd anticipated. But that was nothing compared to the stress of the comprehensive oral examination. I was so nervous before I started that I actually considered making myself throw up just to get it over with and hope that it would calm my stomach, but I was called in before I could decide to act. It took a couple hours, but I knew everything that my committee asked me and even managed to turn some of the more interesting questions into a dialog after I'd answered the questions. When I passed that, I went out for celebratory beverages with the girls. Winter quarter was so tough that I went home to Grandpa for spring break for his pampering and quality kitty time.

Spring quarter was better. I knew that I could teach decently--the students had rated me highly on the questionnaire and on a website for students--so this next class was easier and I could try to improve my teaching and the quality of the information I provided. The University Oral Qualifying Exam, which I'd prepared for extensively with my advisor, was much easier than the other two tests and my dissertation topic was approved easily. And after that, I just relaxed and did the minimum I had to ace my classes and encourage my students. I didn't go to Maya's graduation but Cass and I were invited to dinner afterward with her family and we went to a party afterward with her. Three days later, she was gone to take up a position in the Department of the Interior in DC.  I was kind of surprised when I wrote my last final and picked up my cap and gown. The robe was a little different from the one I'd worn for my bachelors, the changes essentially just differently-shaped sleeves in the basic black garment. And I got a hood this time, it had a black shell, blue and gold satin lining that had a chevron design with the two colors, and trimmed out in russet velvet to signify that my degree was in environmental studies. It all looked fantastic with my hair, and John teased me that I'd chosen a field to coordinate with my coloring. Boys.

The night before graduation, Stan and I had dinner with our whole family for the first time in at least a decade. Grandpa didn't get along very well with Dad's parents so he and Grandma had been scarce on the few times the Knights had visited us in Michigan. I was shocked at how different they looked than I'd remembered. It was good that we'd had a picture to prepare ourselves; Stan told me that he'd have never picked them out of the crowd. As it was, he'd collected them at LAX and had a sign in case he didn't recognize them. Grandpa was the most changed; he'd lost a lot of weight quickly to help with his heart condition and diabetes, and his skin hung loosely on him. And he had a cane. I remembered him as a big man, but he seemed shorter and was certainly not as strong as I remembered. Grandma looked strained, which seemed logical what with the stress of her husband's diagnoses, but her eyes were still keen and I expected some sharp comments at some point during this visit.  I politely suffered a kiss on the cheek from my grandfather and a light hug and air kiss from my grandmother. Dinner went fairly well, all in all; the grandparents acted like Stan and I were interesting strangers, which we were, I guess. They asked us both a lot of questions about what we were studying and what we wanted to do when we were finished with our educations. Stan told me later that they'd had drinks with the family before I got there and Mom and Dad had been their focus then. I was glad I'd had a reception for graduating grad students at the department with the faculty so I had a legit reason to skip that particular ball of fun. The conversation was generally nice, but I did get a question about why I didn't have a boyfriend. They practically had heart attacks (no kidding, Grandpa got really red and I was a little concerned about his heart) when they found out I'd let a good catch like Will get away. I shrugged, unrepentant, and said that I'd get another boyfriend or not, that I wasn't really concerned about it right now (a slight lie) but that I wasn't going to need a meal ticket anyway. That apparently was the wrong thing to say; Mom told me later that Grandma had only gotten three semesters of college before marrying Grandpa and keeping his house. Bummer for her. It was irritating that they praised Stan for not getting entangled, especially since he was going to be going to grad school too. But I held my tongue. Not literally, of course, I was eating and needed it. I was grateful when the dinner was over and I could skedaddle. Parties, you know. Important to any graduation.

The next morning I slept in before joining the family for brunch. Then it was to the graduation ceremony; there were fewer speakers, less talking in general, and it wasn't too long before I strode across the stage to collect the diploma case and shake hands with the head of the department. It was still a lengthy process, however, and after the ceremony was over, I returned my regalia and we went to dinner.  Aside from Grandpa, who had planned our trip after my summer session classes, and Stan, who had sent me an enormous bouquet of colorful flowers and a bottle of Bayou spiced rum, everybody else gave me checks. The grandparents were particularly generous, and I blinked at the five thousand dollar sum. They didn't come out and say that they were kind of sorry they'd been crappy grandparents, but there was a flavor of that in their response when I thanked them. And since it wasn't likely that I'd need it for school, it was a great boost to my largely depleted savings account. I'd been awarded a three year fellowship; it was new and very generous, as well as scholarships and grants that would cover all my expenses for the next year. I loved my school's financial aid department. I exerted myself a little more at dinner and found, to my surprise, that the Knights came in large part (about 45%, from a genetic test that Dad had done for fun) from Scandinavian countries and Grandpa Knight said that he had a first cousin there. He even sent him an email from the table saying that I was attending classes in Copenhagen shortly. And by the time the grandparents left the next day, he had gotten an email back with an invitation for me to visit.

The Knights hugged me again--I'd volunteered to drive them to the airport because they'd made the effort to come out for my graduation--and they said that they were proud of my drive and ambitions. It was, frankly, more than I'd anticipated. Grandma gave me a card with their email addresses and asked me directly to keep in touch. I quickly wrote my email address on a piece of paper and handed it over. Kind of a test to see if they really wanted to keep in touch or if it was just a gesture.

Three days later, I was on a plane for Denmark. I'd thrown prudence to the wind and used my graduation money to upgrade my seat on Lufthansa to business class, which had seats that turned into a fully flat bed, something I'd really appreciated on the flights to the Olympics. I hadn't spent the money when I'd gone to Ireland and I'd missed it. Grandpa had spoiled me for economy travel. I got to Copenhagen in the evening and spent the night in a hotel before going to the studio apartment I'd rented and the university to check in. There was a really nice orientation program that explained the four campuses of the university; I had both classes in Frederiksberg Campus, the oldest of the four, in the medieval city. The university had a lot of support for international students, such as the Erasmus Student Network, a non-profit student organization with the goal to represent international students and provide opportunities for cultural understanding and self-development. They had the ESNcard, which got you discounts on everything from travel to wine tastings, parties, and sporting events. There were also things unique to the university, such as the Student House, located in the center of Copenhagen, which functioned as a natural place for students from different faculties to meet, study and have a good time. During the week the Student House put on a range of activities in a friendly and open atmosphere. And there was also the 'Fredags-bar,' a cornerstone of the university experience. The Friday bars took place at departments or faculties at the university on Friday afternoons and offered a great opportunity to socialize with fellow students in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere. The Danes were friendly and fun, not as reserved as generally thought, and I found several friends quickly. It was a less boisterous crowd than the one I'd run with in Ireland, and that was kind of relaxing as well. we didn't do a lot of touristy things; the closest we got were regular trips to the Tivoli Gardens. Aside from that, our expeditions into the city were mostly about food and culture. And that was fine with me, I wanted to save that for my adventure with Grandpa.

I got an invitation to go to Grandpa Knight's cousin's home, on the outskirts of the city. It was a cute house with a lovely garden, and Ebsen and Agnete Holm were good hosts, pleased to meet a relative and we had a very pleasant lunch. They showed me pictures of their kids and grandkids and it was a lot of fun. Before the end of the summer session, I'd been there twice more, once for another lunch, and finally to meet more of the family. It was a lot of fun, they were nice people and it was difficult to think of my Grandpa Knight as being related to them. But finally, it was August, my learning was done, and Grandpa was due to arrive.