Dark Night

Relocation

I sent John a Bruins tshirt for his birthday on July 31 since I wasn't there to celebrate with him. He had turned the capacity for hard work that made him an Olympic champion to his therapy. The psychiatrist had him on a low dose of Prozac to help him through this rough time and he was grimly working through the stages of grief as a way to deal with the loss of a major focus in his life as well as a huge part of his identity. He was not having fun, but the upside, he reported, was his grandma's cooking. And his grandparents were subversive, too, encouraging him to look around at different majors and sent him to a career counselor to help him be sure that a career in medicine is what he really wanted and not just what his family expected from him. The Tangs were great people, but they did want their kids in high performing careers. His grandparents Park wanted him to be happy as his first priority and were less concerned with what he did. He was kind of glossing over this with his parents, but Paul said that they'd support him no matter what he chose to major in. It was his grandparents Tang who really wanted him to be a doctor, but John had some breathing room; the first year were mostly general studies classes.

On the other hand, I was having a really good summer once I perked up over the loss of John. Work at the library was fun and I learned more about repairing media. My friends were also determined to have the best time possible for our last summer all together, realistically. And because Grandpa didn't mind if I came home a little banged up, I focused on learning harder skateboard tricks, including grinding rails. There was a baby rail for learners at the park that was low to the ground and on a flat surface so that when you fell off at least you didn't bounce off stairs.

I got my dorm assignment--Holly Ridge in the De Neve Plaza complex, which was one of the buildings with air conditioning. I cheered and showed Grandpa the campus map, where all the residence halls were on the Hill, and where my dorm was specifically. I was in a triple room with two roommates, Helena O'Hannigan from Boston and Serafina Maradona from Santa Ana. I contacted them immediately; Serafina sounded as excited as I was while Helena was more reserved, but we agreed to rent a micro-fridge (a small fridge with an integrated microwave) for the room and Serafina was bringing a small hand vac to help keep the room tidy. We agreed on how much mess could be tolerated in the room and got to know each other through texts and emails. Helena was going to study nursing and Serafina was majoring in sociology before going on to law school.

I had to go down for a three day orientation for new students at the beginning of August; nobody I knew was in my session. It was an additional fee, but well worth it. We stayed in the dorms and I got my first taste of what life in a residence hall would be like. Noisy, mostly, but I assumed (fingers crossed) that when people actually began studying that things would quiet at least somewhat. I met with an academic advisor, who told me that I had satisfied the entry-level writing requirement, which spared me a diagnostic test and possibly a writing class, that I had passed the math diagnostic test that I'd taken earlier online which would enable me to go directly to calculus, and I was urged to take the placement test for French to see if I had to take classes to satisfy the foreign language requirement. I had been accepted into the Honors program, and my advisor enrolled me in my first quarter's classes. I had my first degree audit, which showed me what classes I needed to complete my degree and noted prerequisites. There was a module that addressed Title nine, sexual and domestic violence and stalking, and bystander intervention. We picked up our Bruin ID cards, parking passes if we'd applied for them, and participated in a community service project by making gift baskets for the hospital's Chase Child Life Program.  There were introductions to a rather dizzying array of support programs and resources, and workshops were provided related to majors, interests, and goals, and an introduction to the series of freshmen seminars called Fiat Lux, which were on a huge variety of topics, on a pass/no pass basis, and were for small groups of students and faculty from all departments. There would also be a winter quarter program for advising and helping us transition in to the second year of school to look forward to. I went home feeling both overwhelmed and energized. When I got back, Naomi talked to me about it and provided a better context for everything by filling in a little with examples from her first year experience. All the busyness helped to keep me diverted from worries that I was in over my head with such a good and large school and fears of the unknown.