It had been weird around the house for the past few days, Ashton wouldn't look at me let alone talk to me. After I dropped the "I'm going to America" bomb on everyone, they all seemed to ignore me even more. They were all convinced they had done nothing wrong, and I was moving to America for no reason. The only reasonable person was my mother, she completely understood what I was doing. She encouraged me to do it as well.
I was going to be moving to California, and I was very excited. This was going to separate me from Ashton, and the boys. I wasn't going to be the awkward tag along with 5 seconds of summer anymore. I was just going to be me, Kelsey Irwin. People probably wouldn't even know who I was in America. They probably hadn't even heard of 5sos yet. Which was a good thing for me. I could start over.
Michael hadn't contacted me, so I took that as he didn't want to waste his precious time on me anymore. It was weird this time, I wasn't upset about not being with him. In the beginning when he had stopped talking to me, I had felt hurt. But as time went on, I started to become okay with it because I realized if he couldn't even spare the time to talk to me he didn't care and I shouldn't care as well.
I needed to go shopping today to get clothes for California, and since I didn't really want to call any of my school friends I went to the mall alone. I needed new everything, this was my chance to really be myself.
--
It was the night before my flight to America. I had already finished packing, but there was no way I could go to sleep. I was too excited, so there was no point in trying. I could sleep on the plane anyway. I decided to check twitter, since I hadn't done that in a while. I typed my name in the search bar, which I knew wasn't a very good idea but I was curious. A few said they had noticed I wasn't with the boys as much anymore, and some said they were glad I was out of the picture, and a lot said Michael was too good for me. I scoffed, as if. I got bored with twitter, and decided to watch the episodes of Teen Wolf that I had recorded.
I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until I heard my alarm clock going off. This was it, I was going to America today. I rushed putting on my outfit and brushing my teeth, and practically ran down the stairs to see if my mom was awake. She was, she had already made breakfast. I smiled and sat down at the table.
"So, are you excited?" She asked. I could tell she was upset by the way her voice shook. I nodded and took a bite of a pancake. "I'm going to miss you. We're going to miss you." She said, talking about herself and Ashton. I rolled my eyes, he probably wouldn't even wake up to say goodbye to me. I finished my pancake, and downed my cup of coffee. I was fidgeting in my seat and my mom noticed, and gave me a sad smile.
Sure, I was sad I was leaving my mother again so soon. But this was the opportunity of a lifetime and I coudln't give it up. I'd come back to visit during the holidays or something. Heavy footsteps were making their way down the stairs, and looked over to see Ashton frowning at me at the bottom of the stairs. I gave him a half smile, and he made his way to the table. It got uncomfortably silent as Ash sat down. I looked over at him from the corner of my eye, and I swear he was crying. I knew this was going to happen. Everyone was suddenly going to get all sentimental, and start crying and telling me how sorry they were for leaving me. I had prepared myself for it, during the last two weeks.
"We should get going to the airport." My mom said quietly. "Ashton, are you coming?" She asked. I looked over at him, he gave a slow nod and got up and walked outside to the car.
Once we got to the airport, my mother was a mess.
"I'm going to miss you so much. You better call me, every day. I mean it Kelsey." She said wiping the tears that were flowing in a steady stream down her face. Ashton was just looking at me, his eyes were glassed over and his nose was red he was going to cry.
"Kelsey." He groaned, and a few tears slipped out of his eyes. "I'm so sorry, I'm going to miss you more than you know."
"I'm gonna miss you too, you asshole." I laughed half heartedly. He grabbed me in a tight hug and rocked back and forth. He let go and looked up and wiped the tears from his face.
"You don't tell anyone I was crying, you got that?" He chuckled. I nodded. We all looked over to security where someone was causing a scene.
"Let me through! You have to let me through! Dammit I'll fucking strip for you to show you I'm not carrying any weapons. For fucks sake I just need to see my girlfriend before she moves half way across the earth!" The voice screamed and pushed through security. I saw a head of blondish brown spiked up hair running through the crowd.
Oh no I wasn't expecting this. I desperately wished that my flight would start boarding now, but I had at least another 10 minutes. Maybe security would get him before he got to me. I don't think I can deal with this one. His frantic eyes met mine, and I looked down. I heard footsteps coming closer to me, and I just shook my head. I didn't dare look at him. I couldn't.
"Kelsey?" He took my hands in his. I couldn't look at him, it was too much. He shouldn't be here. When I did look up, I took in his physical state, his eyes were bloodshot and glassy, and the bags under his eyes were deep purple. His nose was red and he sniffled frequently. He'd been crying, I couldn't see him like this.
"I'm sorry." I pulled my hands away from his, and walked away from everything that had mattered to me for the past few years. My flight still wasn't boarding. I just needed to get away from him, if I didn't I would start crying. I already had this lump in my throat, and this stupid sinking feeling in my stomach.
"Kelsey please!" He yelled, he was causing a huge scene. I shook my head I had to keep walking. "Please Kelsey don't leave me!" He sobbed. I clutched at my shirt, my heart was literally breaking. I stopped walking and squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself not to start crying. Not yet, I needed to keep it together until I was on the plane. I turned around and looked at him. He was on his knees, sobbing. I took in a deep breath and waited for him to say something.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so so fucking sorry. I'm such a fuck up Kelsey, I ruined everything we had because I let our little bit of pathetic fame get to my head. I'm so sorry I went out partying instead of being with you talking about stupid shit and cuddling. I'm sorry I stopped talking to you, because I felt like after a while you just didn't want to talk to me and I didn't want to have the conversation of you breaking up with me. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry I ignored you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He rambled.
"Flight 135 now boarding." A woman's voice rang out from the loud speaker. Michael looked at me, fear written all over his face.
"That's mine." I mumbled. I turned and left him on his knees and ran to the plane. My eyes were filling up with tears fast, I needed to get out of here. Once I was seated on the plane, the tears started coming and they weren't stopping anytime soon. I wrapped my arms around my knees, and tried to be as quiet as I could, but the sobs that were overtaking my body hurt. It hurt so bad. I wanted to run off the plane and tell Michael that it as okay. That we could work through this, but we couldn't. I was leaving and that was it. I didn't even get to say goodbye to Calum and Luke. A particularly loud sob escaped my mouth and the man sitting next to me scooted as far away from me as he could. This was pathetic. The last thing I was going to remember about leaving Australia, was Michael Clifford on his knees crying and apologizing to me. It was too late, the apologies were too late.
Author's Note
Wow this was fucking depressing. It'll get happier once she's in California. BUT MY MELSEY HEART WHAT DID I DOOOOOOOOOO. But can you imagine Michael crying at the airport bc you're leaving him omfg nope stop it. It's late and I'm drowning in my feelings okay. Goodnight enjoy this and whatever. I love you.
IF ANY OF YOU EVEN READ THIS: I STARTED WRITING ANOTHER FANFIC AND IT'S WITH LUKE AND IDK IF I SHOULD POST IT OR NOT? TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK MAYBE?
YOU ARE READING
Always Second Best// m.c
Fanfiction"Kelsey?" He took my hands in his. I couldn't look at him, it was too much. He shouldn't be here. I took in his physical state, his eyes were bloodshot and glassy, and the bags under his eyes were deep purple. His nose was red and he sniffled freque...
