TOXIC.

dix

yoongi puffed a few from his cigarette, eyeing the man in front of him. he couldn't think of anything that made him visit his annoying best friend, nor he couldn't recall how did he ended up smoking inside the guy's apartment. he eyed the raven haired man, as he makes his magic with his spatula while swaying to a soft music that filled the room.

they were polar opposites. yoongi and seokjin. he was as lively as the kids running around the park, as colorful as the flowers in the fields, as lucky as he could be. as for yoongi, he wasn't. he was boring as a high schooler's history class, as dull as the ashes of his cigarettes, and as deprived because of the selfish world he lived in.

"you're pretty pre-occupied these days." seokjin hummed, putting the fired rice in a small bowl. yoongi turned his head to look at the older, smoke escaping from his mouth and his nostrils. seokjin was still dancing to the cool lofi tune as he topped the fried rice with a few slices of meat and eggs.

yoongi stood up to take a seat on the dinner table with an eyebrow raised. he tossed the  stick on an ashtray that the older has even though he doesn't smoke. he had a smoker of a best friend after all. yoongi kept his mouth shut the whole time seokjin was serving their lunch, the delicious aroma of the meat wafted his nose. 

"you know, you should quit your habits. get a job and get a life." seokjin spoke after almost finishing up his own bowl, taking a few slices from yoongi's which annoyed the younger every now and then. "it's not like you're doing any illegal stuff, but at least live a better life. i could get you a job at my father's bar, you know."

yoongi laughed, eating the eggs from the older's bowl by surprise. "this is why i hate coming here. you always nag me about my hobbies. if it wasn't for your cooking, you would never see me again."

"besides," yoogi made a face of satisfaction after drinking from his glass of water. "i have a bad reputation on every bar in existence i this city so i tell you, your father wouldn't be pleased to have me as his worker."

"yah, min yoongi! be serious!" seokjin snarled at him as the younger tried to make an attempt to steal from his bowl. yoongi tried to reach for it, but the older stretched his other hand to avoid the pale man's chopsticks while his other arm blocked it. normally, the brunette would always scold yoongi at the rude and careless manner in front of the food.

after a good minute of bickering and chasing, a sigh left seokjin's lips. "no, seriously yoongi. you won't live long if you keep doing that. it's not good for you. it won't do you any good. i know that i swore i won't be too nosy about your habits, but some times, it's too much."

"then i'll just die then." yoongi shrugged even. seokjin just stared at him in disbelief. the blue haired man acted as if dying wasn't a big deal. he hated this side of yoongi, always stating things out of the blue. he always been this impulsive. it never fails to get yoongi in trouble.

"look, yoongi. your lifestyle is not okay." standing up, seokjin took the bowls and glasses to dump at the sink. he opened the tap after putting on some gloves, starting to clean up. "how much alcohol do you consume on your daily night outs? how many hours of sleep do you get? how many packs of cigarette do you smoke in a whole day? how many times do you go on an one night stand spree? how long do you have to eat noodles to replenish your energy? yoongi, everything you do can kill you."

"then let it be." yoongi stood up to sit back at the couch, his fingers instinctively digging to his jean pockets for his cigarette. "at least if i die, i'm the one who dug my own grave."

it pained seokjin. how casual yoongi sounds when the topic is hi dying. how calm the younger is at the idea of him dying while seokjin feels like going insane if he did.

they were best friends for years. maybe because the idea of being the son of a well-known businessman being best friends with the boy who was stripped off of everything piqued seokjin's interest. at first, he felt a bit higher than yoongi. maybe, because of his pride kicking in. but eventually, he felt that yoongi was more human despite the image he held back in middle school.

no, he didn't felt remorse or empathy for the younger. well, at times, maybe he did. there were times where he would look at yoongi as he hid away from society. he felt guilty not helping the younger as the other's adoptive parents abused him. he felt a bit responsible when yoongi started to change into a badder and messier version of himself. he felt bad receiving chocolates for valentines while yoongi got rejected from his only attempt to get a date. he felt so low when yoongi's addiction started to blossom. he felt like, he wasn't a good best friend for him.

seokjin never spoke up. seokjin never tired to stop him form beating up students back at their highschool. seokjin never warned him when he saw yoongi smoking at the back of their highschool in third year. seokjin never told the authorities when he caught yoongi stealing liquor from a convenient store.

seokjin never did anything. so his attempts to persuade the younger is futile. it was a bit too late.

seokji placed his utensils back to their respective containers. he turned on his heel to march back to the living room, his nose immediately scrunching at the foul smell of burning leaves. yoongi was puffing on his cigarettes again.

the older sat on his sofa, staring at yoongi who gave no mind to his sudden appearance. all seokjin could do is sigh.

"one question," seokjin murmured, but it was enough for yoongi to hear. "when are you going to introduce me to this boyfriend you have?"

at first, yoongi stared at him, bewildered. but the younger just shrugged. "i don't know. i wouldn't say i got too attached to him and our relationship would last long, but he's a pretty good person."

seokjin smiled for a bit. he knew that yoongi's relationships were shallow. mostly, it circulates around pure lust and not love. but he felt like this relationship was special because it lasted a year. and that was the longest if you dates min yoongi. 

"i'm planning on dumping him though." yoongi spoke after pausing for a few seconds, his tone of voice suddenly soft and guilty. "he's kind, pretty, smart and a good boyfriend. for once, i felt like shit using him. he deserves so much better, and i don't think i deserve him."

seokjin felt too much sympathy conjured yo in him that he didn't realized he placed his hand on the younger's shoulder. "you know you're worth it. if he loves you, he'll stay by your side despite your habits."

it was actually funny. how seokjin was completely against yoongi's habits earlier and now he's comforting him.

"that's the problem, hyung." yoongi jerked away from the older, spitting his cigarette who knows where. "he loves me! the love he gives, i can't reciprocate it. all i coul do is drag him down with me."

yoongi's sudden change of behavior shocked seokjin. maybe his habits are now taking a huge toll on him. he wasn't composed as he used to be.

"look, yoongi. i just wanted to meet him. his name is jimin right? he sounds kind so i just want to meet my best friend's boyfr-"

yoongi was panicking. his eyes were looking around too much that it made seokjin dizzy. he pushed the arm that was reaching out for him, and he pushed a little too hard.

he stood up, "i told you not to! why won't you listen to me?!"

seokjin's face dropped. he hated seeing yoongi like this. he knew his best friend isn't in his best version these days. he's not in the right state of mind anymore.

yoongi ran his fingers through his hair, snatching his jacket from the sofa. "it was a mistake coming here."

all seokjin did was watch how yoongi stormed out of his apartment, ruffled and frustrated.

maybe he blamed himself. seokjin blamed himself from not stopping yoongi to turn into a complete mess of toxic waste.