Un/Traditional ( dark mafia romance)

not nice.

Unedited.

This position is scary. So fucking scary!!!

Abort!

Mission Abort!!!

Fucking Abort!!!

I am yelling at my body to react! To at least try to push Leon away but my body is rigid...So fucking rigid that I am unable to blink.

I could feel Leon's breath on my face. His ripping muscles hovering above my body.

We weren't exactly touching and yet my heart was thudding at a crazy pace.

I felt hyperactive. Not because him being this close to me had excited me.No.

No no no.

It was because I was scared.
Scared of him and what he could do. I could taste my fear inside my mouth till the tip of my tongue.

He was staring at me but I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

It felt like an eternity before he finally broke the silence.

"Have you heard the phrase Curiosity killed the cat?" He asks calmly and my breathing grows.

I don't answer because I knew I wasn't suppose to answer it.

"I have always liked this phrase. Do you know why?" He asks but I am still silent.

"Because no matter how smart the cat maybe it's curiosity would still at the end lead to its demise. Poor kitty would never make it out alive". He finishes and it doesn't take a genius to figure out that the cat in this situation is me.

"No matter how innocent the kitten is... It would never be able to survive in this cruel world" he cups my face in his left hand. His hold isn't exactly hurting me but I start hyperventilating... My head starts to pound and I suddenly feel dizzy.

Oh god! I hadn't even felt this way when a person was pointing a gun at face in the safehouse a few days ago. So why now?

My heartbeat was way too quick to be considered normal. And I now understood what was happening to me.

I was having a panic attack.

A fucking panic attack.

Why now ?

I was used to having them after Allison's mother had died because of me. But after therapy they had stopped .

So why now? Especially in front of this asshole. Just why?

God this was so fucking embarrassing. He already thinks I'm too weak and now this.

Just fucking perfect.

My lungs feel like they are closing up. My heart feels like it's going to burst.

It hurts.

So fucking much.

Please make it stop.

I hear Leon say something to me I can't understand him though. I feel him shaking my trembling body. Well at least he hasn't hurt me, yet.

I feel him take me into his arms. Tears blur my vision as I struggle to breathe. I feel Leon wipe my tears.

He continues asking more like yelling at me, asking what the fuck was happening to me.

I wanted to answer him but I could not utter a single word. I hear Leon shouting something about a doctor but I felt too tired to focus on anything.

He tells me to look at him. But I cannot.

"Hh-h.. help me." Is the only thing I am able to say before I succumbed to the darkness.

------:-----:------:-----:-------

Beep. Beep. Beep

That's the continuous annoying sound which forces me to wake up. My whole body hurts even opening my eyes feels like an agonizing task.

But I manage to open them. There was dim lighting in the room which made it easier for my eyes to adjust.

I was in the same room as before.
The room I shared with Leon but now it looked like a mini hospital emergency room.

There was a drip attached to my hand and I had various other things like a heart monitor attached to me which I wanted to take off.

As I began to peel the tape off my skin a voice tells me to stop. I shriek startled.

"You shouldn't remove this. The doctor said to keep it on till the drip is finished." He says. His voice is gentle and I know I have heard his voice before but I still cannot remember him. His face is still in the darkness.

"Could you please turn the lights on" I ask politely even though my throat feels scratchy in doing so.
He says nothing but switches the lights on.

As he turns around. I see his face and recognize him instantly.
My mouth feels like a desert island and he just smiles and comes closer.

He hands me a glass of water which I take with shaky hands and try to sit up completely. I drink the whole glass in a hurry and it instantly makes me feel a bit better.

I hand him the now empty glass
And he keeps it back on the table.
After a moment of silence he asks "how do you feel? Do you need something?".

"No I am fine." I say because this has already happened before so I was a bit used to this now.

"Did you... I mean does this happen often? He asks unsure."if you don't mind me asking.

"No it's OK. It used to happen before but hadn't happened in a long time. I answer honestly. "But I have a question of my own if you don't mind me asking?" I repeat his words.

He looks at me as if he already knew what I was going to ask.
He nods.

"Does Kara know?..... Does she know that you..?" I ask him but falter a bit at the end.

"What??? that I like men?  Of course she does. I could never hide this from the woman I am going to get married to." He says unfazed.

"And she still wants to marry you?"  I ask in shock. I hadn't expected her to know.

"She wants her dying mother to believe that she is happy."

"She is a good daughter" I say with a sad smile. "Does anyone else know about this?"

"A few people I am close with but not many... that is if you haven't already told someone". He says with a somber tone.

" I..I- Ii... Of course I haven't.. I know what could happen to you if I did and I would never do that to Kara" I say defensively. I really didn't care much about Alessandro but I loved Kara and there was nothing I wouldn't do to help her.

He laughs at my answer looking slightly amused and I laugh a bit in return as well. He opens his mouth to say something else but stops due to the abrupt opening of the door.

My husband enters and without throwing me a glance looks straight at Alessandro.

"Did I not tell you to call me as soon as she woke up" He says in a calm manner.

"Sí capo" Alessandro answer."I apologise".

"Get the fuck out and never pull this kind of shit again" Leon warns and Alessandro exits looking at me with a slight smile.

I return his smile with a small smile of my own and a slight nod. He leaves closing the door with a gentle thud.

I look at Leon to see  him already starting at me and my little smile drops.

That's a wrap folks. Please don't forget to follow, like and comment. And have an awesome day.