Holding on to you (girlxgirl)

CHAPTER THREE

For the first few days of my junior year, I didn't really notice much. It was as if my mind was still stuck on the break and honestly, I was nowhere near ready to get back to school. One day I sat in Chemistry taking notes to look up and find no one other than Bree doing the same. Bree, the girl who had pissed me off so much the year before in bio. She was thrusted back into my life just like that and I had just now noticed. I honestly don't know why she got under my skin so much. But on this day, I didn't really feel like I disliked her but something else. I continued to take notes until the bell rang. Soccer tryouts would be in a few days, so I was spending all my off time making sure I would be perfect with everything Jason had taught me. Speaking of Jason, we hadn't really been talking lately. He was way too busy with school and when I called I would only get his voicemail. I knew it would be hard, being that this was my first long distant relationship, but I didn't know it would be this hard. I rushed off to my next period class and she slipped my mind completely.

On that first day of soccer practice there were a lot of faces I knew and a few I didn't know. Shelly and Amilie came out to support me but they did not want to join me. There was one face that I did notice, Bree. Since we had class together again, and I sat diagonally from her and she was the only person I knew in the class, and I was the only person she knew in the class. We did the awkward nod to each other every day, but that was really all. After a bit of time mingling with the people I did know and like, I walked over to Bree and said hi. She said hi too and we spoke for all of two minutes until the coaches came to start practice. I was happy, I thought the conversation was started to get weird. We ran a few drills and met up again for the same time the next day for the final assessment. At this point I was feeling pretty confident in all I had learned. The next day in class Bree and I actually spoke to each other, we bonded over tryouts and how we felt about it. We both thought we made the team and was happy with how tryout went. It wasn't too hard but still interesting enough to raise the hairs on our body. It was funny to me that just my sophomore year, I didn't like this girl. And now we were sharing laughs. She was starting to seem like a cool person. She actually showed up for this class too.

In the end Bree and I both made the soccer team. The more I spent time with her the cooler she became. With back to back practices each week and classes together every day for two periods back to back, she quickly became one of my go to people. I found myself gravitating to her more and more, even if it was just to goof off a bit before practice. I admit Bree was one of the better players on our team, along with Mandy. Now, Mandy; a long haired, bright eyed, Latina babe that was as intense on the field as her looks were, and Bree were closer than all the other girls on the team, they were even closer than Bree and Lucy were. Because Bree and I were getting closer, that meant that Mandy and I were getting closer as well. The three of us spoke so much that we would stay up each night messaging about all the crazy things that had went down that day. The more we spoke during our individual time alone, the more I wanted to be around Bree. A few months into us becoming friends Jason and I decided to break up. It was one of the worst and probably the only real break up I had ever had in my young life, funny enough, Bree was going through the same thing with a soccer player named Wesley. He was an attractive athletic build latino guy; with really nice hair. I never liked him, but that's only because he really hurt my new friend, I think.

Bree was there for every bit of my break up and I was there for hers. She helped me to move on in ways I never knew I could. She let me complain about all the bullshit Jason put me through and the ways he made me happy without ever criticizing me, and always found a way to lift me up. To say she was a best friend would be an understatement in my opinion. At this point, I felt so strongly about her in a way that made me want to show off for her on the field, to be as good as she was. The feelings that I was having for her were familiar, but I couldn't let myself feel that way. It wasn't right. Bree wasn't the first girl I had a crush on and I knew she wouldn't be the last, but I knew it wasn't something that wasn't normal, so I hid it all my life. I was secretly wishing she would feel the same about me. The feelings felt strong with Bree and I didn't know how long I would be able to hide my feelings. I had a strong crush on her, the kind of crush a girl has on a guy she pines for and doodles in her notebook about.