Holding on to you (girlxgirl)

CHAPTER TEN

As the weeks flew by between Bree and I, everyone around us started to ask more and more questions. It didn't help that we would leave cute messages on each other's social media pages trying to be discreet. Mandy kept asking me questions about Bree, and Bree kept asking me the same questions about Mandy, if my feelings were growing for her, what was I talking to her about, and why I was talking with her so much. It seemed they were both always jealous of me speaking with the other. Mandy would ask if I was speaking with Bree, what we were talking about, and questions that made me believe she suspected that we liked each other more than we were letting on. One night, Mandy asked me if my status was about Bree; to my surprise. Of course, I answered no, but it really was. The status was about how love can come into your life unexpectedly and makes you feel so helpless to it. My heart fell when she asked that, so... I told Bree about it.

"Omg, you would never guess what Mandy just asked me."

"What? Tell me..."

"She asked if my status was about you." Bree already knew it was about her, my statuses were always about her.

"Are you serious, what did you say?"

"I lied, duh lol"

"Omg, she just asked me if my status was about you!!!"

"What!!! I think she knows! She has to know. What did you say to her?"

"I think she knows too lol, I just told her it was about Wesley."

"...Oh, well I guess that's a good response."

"I know babe, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to say."

"It's ok, are you still coming over tomorrow morning? We have that project we have to finish."

"Yes, duh. If I don't come over then I won't see you for the whole holiday break, and I don't think I can go that long without seeing you."

"I find myself thinking more and more about the answer to that question, we both can't answer. You know... some time I wonder what we are, like you said... we can't be in a real relationship because none of us is ready to go public with this; but we say I love you so much, and we can't stand being without each other at all. It just feels like were a couple, but I know we can't be a real couple. I don't want to just love you and you love me and leave it at that, that's what we are now, and I hate it."

"But why can't we be in a real relationship? Is it because of all the other people involved?"

"What other people?"

"Well, all your crushes, Zach, and Jason."

"No, they have nothing to do with it at all, Zach and I will never be together, and Jason and I broke up."

"Ok, you guys broke up, but you still care about him, even though you try to fool yourself. You still do."

"I don't know how feel about him, all I know is, when I'm with you I feel amazing; nothing like how I feel with him. And I've never felt that way before. Plus, he's gone now, and I don't want to feel anything for him.

"So, what about Mandy?"

"Babe...seriously, this again. I told you, were just friends, I just see her as a friend. That will never change."

"But it did for me."

"Yea, I know it changed for you because you're you, and I love you."

"Yea, I know you do, I love you too babe, but you can always love her too."

"BABE! You're not getting it. Even if I could figure out what we are, I would only want to be with you, kiss you, love you. ONLY YOU!"

"Ok, I get it I guess."