Holding on to you (girlxgirl)

CHAPTER FIVE

The next day as I promised, I made sure it wasn't awkward. I could tell she was feeling a little scared being around me, so I made sure she felt as though nothing had happened last night. We still goofed around, ran away with each other's hats or scarfs when we were together, I still tousled her hair whenever she wasn't expected it, which would always result in her chasing me, until she caught up with me, got me to the ground- usually in the snow, then sat on me while spanking my bottom. Which was always followed by her screaming "Who's the boss?" which I would reply with "I am!" over and over again until I gave in a proclaimed her "the boss". I went out of her way to make her feel comfortable, so she knew there was nothing to be afraid of, if she concluded that she was bi. There was no doubt I would like to be with this girl, but in a world where being different was not ideal, and liking girls was one of those things Christians did not do. There was no way would ever be together. Because of this I tried to live in the moment rather than worry about what was out of my control.

I couldn't understand why she would ever think this day would be weird, it was one of the best days I had ever spent with her, she was an amazing soul and I couldn't imagine being without her for a day. She was my best friend, who I happened to have a crush on. That day few by, as it always does when I got to see her almost every other period. We shared the same first and second period, and I would walk her to her third period, then see her for lunch, then after school for practice or games. It was around then that night, after I had gotten home from practice, ate, did home work, and was no clued to my computer to talk with her until it was bedtime.

"Hey boo, what ya doing?" I initiated to conversation, as I noticed she was online.

"Hey boooo...." She responded, was she cute or what?

"So, how was it?"

"Huh?"

"Today, was it awkward?"

"Um... no. Why? Were you?"

"This was actually one of the best days I've ever had with you."

"I know right! But did you have any awkward moments though?"

"No, but I did have a sad moment."

"Aww, why? P.S, I told you that you seemed sad today, but you said no."

"I was just thinking a little."

"About what?"

"Just thinking"

"Aless, tell me!"

"Well I was just thinking...that I'm really not going to tell you. HAHA"

"Aless, come on, do you not trust me anymore to tell me?"

"It's not that I don't trust you, because you know I do. It just, it's not something friends share, I guess. I wish I could, but I just don't want this to become awkward."

"I don't think so, today went fine even thought I didn't think I would."

"Yes, but I know it wouldn't, so I did worry, but it think this will."

"Come on Aless, please..."

"If we grow apart then it's your fault..."

"Is it that big?"

"Yea, kinda..."

"Well, I guess if it's that big, I'll be surprised at first then I will get back to normal like we have been. But honestly after last night, we had so much fun today and practice was amazing, like I can't believe it...But anyhoo, I think you can tell me anything, remember."

"Ok" I mustered all my bravery and I started to put my emotions into a message to send that could best explain how I was feeling inside. "It was like the last part of practice right, so I don't know what came over me but then I started to daydream, I don't know- I was bored I guess. Then I found myself daydreaming about making out with you and but at the same time it was kinda depressing. That's why I looked sad when we started to do the drills together. It wasn't anything you did, it was me. When you went to practice with someone else, I went to sit down and that's when Cat sat down near me and we started to joke about random things. It made me feel a little better though. When she got back up to do drills I started to daydream again but this time It was about making out with her. It was all just weird."

"You know what don't tell me, I want every day to be like today, not those awkward days again, I didn't like them at all..." I guess we clicked send at the same time "Too late, ok let me read it..."

"Never mind, don't read it." I begged her...

"Too late, already did."

"Ok, whatever I guess..."

"That wasn't that bad Aless, I will never grow apart from you for that. I mean, everyone daydreams right? But wow, two girls? lol"

"I should be getting to bed though, it's almost 11:30"

"But watch, tomorrow is going to be awkward. Lol just kidding, there is nothing to feel awkward about."

"Ok, Hun."

"Anyhoo, tell me how when I fell today, right. There is a little burn on the side of my hip."

"You fell?"

"Yea, at practice when you tackled me trying to tag me down lol."

"Oh yea, I'm sorry! Lol"

"It's ok, I still love you...Oh, and sorry for acting stupid about throwing the ball at you hard." That's was when she decided to switch partners with me. I guess she felt bad for hitting me with the ball. "Aww, your bed time is here"

"I know, I'm sorry but I have to. I'm tired, we spent 14 hours at school today."

"Yea, I understand. Well, be at school early tomorrow so I can hang with you."

"Ok"

"well, you're always early lol."

"Well, I love you, always will, but sleep is calling me."

"Aww, I love you too, no matter what."

"ttyl"

"bye" I headed off to bed, today was a great day and one I would never forget for sure, but I needed to get to bed. I had a lot of things to dream about and think about as well.

The next morning, I woke up and went through my routine and headed to school, early as usually. I loved the times we had before school started. We would sit around the lunch table with a few of our friends and just goof off. Of course, I would always sit right next to her as close as I could. I don't know what it was about her but everything about her drew me in. I hoped she felt the same way about me. We spent most of our waking moment either together or on the phone or on messenger talking to each other. I had never been this close to anyone or wanted to be this close to anyone.