Forgotten; Worshipped (Imported from Ao3)

34

Aaron's spirits were low. He was wide awake, though it was the middle of the night. He couldn't sleep, a nightmare still fresh in his mind. He was trembling, scratching at his upper arms, his vision was red, he could only see blood, blood everywhere, dried on his skin and he couldn't get it off. It felt disgusting, filthy, he felt horribly filthy. Nothing he did made him feel clean. His breathing came out shuddered and shallow. Hot tears rolled down his cheeks and his sobbing, quiet as he tried to keep it, seemed to echo and tear through the room like a storm to his ears. His heartbeat beat so loudly in his ears, deafening, almost, as his mind forced him to relive the dream, the nightmare, still fresh in his memory.

He couldn't see a thing, could hardly hear a thing, and his movement was restricted. His head shot around, but it was such a pain. His body was itching. He needed to move, but he couldn't. He scratched at his arms, his legs, scratched at them until he felt blood coming forth, trying to scratch that damn itch that was driving him mad, but he could never quite reach it. He hit his legs against the wall, but it only ended up breaking his leg into pieces the more he hit it against the wall. He did the same with his left arm, breaking it as well in the process. Tears streamed out of his eyes and down his cheeks as the itch just wouldn't go away. He scratched at his head, pulled on his hair and ripped it out with pieces of his skin. It hurt, a pain hot and sharp ran and flowed over him like burning hot lead, liquid gold being poured over him, yet it did nothing to relieve this damn itch that was driving him mad. He needed to move, he needed to get out, to get out, to get out, to get OUT!

He didn't know why he dreamt such a thing, it made no sense to him, but it hurt him so much. There was something in the core of his soul that was aching as the being he was in his dream, because he was sure it had not been him. This ache within his soul made him twist in pain and press a hand to his heart to try and alleviate the pain.

The ruckus he made must've been loud, as he felt Hercules stir beside him. He immediately tensed up, he didn't want Hercules to see him in such a state, a state in which he hadn't been in years and which had hit him with such sudden intensity, without giving him the mercy of preparing himself for such an attack, that he didn't know what to do with himself. The memory of just a few hours earlier came to mind, when Hercules had stopped him from initiating sex, which had hit Aaron like a shovel to the face or a kick to the stomach. Hercules stirred awake and groggily looked around, confusion evident in his eyes, looking for what might have woken him up. His eyes finally met Aaron's who had forgotten how to breathe at this point. Tears were still coming out of his eyes, but he stopped his breathing completely, likely in an unconscious attempt to silence himself and make it stop. Hercules slowly sat up and shifted closer to Aaron, clearly sensing the pain of fear and terror in his lover's very soul. He put an arm around Aaron and pulled him closer, pulling his head to his chest, directly over his heart. Aaron heard the quiet, yet steady and deep vibration of Hercules' calm heartbeat and, by some miracle, it calmed Aaron down. He was still shaken and confused by the dream, but the soft and steady pace of Hercules' heartbeat made him remember to breathe, made his breathing calmer, made his heart adapt to the calm beating pattern. Eventually, Aaron was calm, with a renewed appreciation for the bond he shared with Hercules. A blush crept across his cheeks as he reciprocated the hug Hercules had engulfed him in, partially to show he was responsive and partially to show Hercules that he was helping him greatly. Hercules hummed softly into Aaron's hair and gently stroke his back.

"Nightmare?" he suddenly broke the calm silence and Aaron found himself nodding. "I'm here for you. Whatever you may need," he paused and shifted to make Aaron lie down on his chest instead of leaning against it, "whatever you may need, I will give it to you, just say the word, and it's done."