kuroko no basket oneshots

a k a s h i : d r u n k s e r i e s

yup. the drunk series. didn't forget about it. enjoy. (still doing the original list😉)
akashi —> talkative drunk.

—

"I ONLY LOVE MY BED AND MY MOMMA I'M SORRY."

you choked on your drink as you heard your best friend, akashi seijuro, belt out drizzy's lyrics like a fuckin' pro. "oh god, what the fuck?" you muttered before massaging your temple, about to embark on a mission.

"akashi seijuro, please come down from the table." you groaned, trying not to embarass the two of you any further. akashi masaomi was hosting a party for the company as he was about to give his son, akashi seijuro, their multibillion dollar company. the party involved hard drinks, cocktails and finger food, making you agree to the deal akashi offered.

the deal was like this. he needed a plus one but he didn't know who. his father said it would be nice if it were a woman, to clear up the rumors of his son being gay. and he trusted you, considering as you were neck-in-neck when it came to academics back in the university days. so you agreed, because free food was amazing.

you had complained that you had nothing to wear and didn't know anyone. he gave you a guestlist and had a custom made vera wang dress just for you.

and now, you had to deal with this behavior. when he got the both of you a vodka on the rocks to lighten up, he ended up drinking a little too much, probably tasting the whole menu and more. now here you were, seeing your controlled, mature best friend, sing 'god's plan' by drake, embarassing himself.

murmurs were already heard, so you tried to calm him down but he wouldn't. you tried to pull him down but he stood firm, rapping the last chorus. you finally sighed in relief when you saw his father trudging his way to the table. "akashi seijuro, come down!" he barked out as akashi stuck his tongue out. "make me, old man." which after, lots of chuckles and giggles emerged.

akashi masomi rubbed his temples, then gestured the two men at his disposal towards seijuro. they went up the table and pulled him off, making him pout. "you're his plus one, right?" masaomi asked you. "yes," you replied. "well please join his ride home and make sure he sleeps. his house is thirty minutes away. you can sleep there if you want to." his father said and you nodded.

get this five year old—i mean twenty-two year old— to bed. got it. you thought.

the men walked him towards the sleek sedan parked. you followed suit, seeing him grin lopsidedly at the men. they didn't reply and all you could hear was his blabbering. "did you know that tom is a cat and jerry is a mouse? hmmmmmm?" you heard it come out of his mouth and you laughed silently, admiring his childish antics while under th influence of alcohol.

"thank you," you said to the two men who nodded their heads at you. his driver was already inside. "where to?" he asked. before you could reply, he yelled a reply. "strip club!"  and you darkened.

"n-no, his house, please." you said and his driver nodded. "hey y/n!" he called and you looked at him. "yes?" and he brightened up. "i always wanted to go to the town carnival but father never let me go so can we go now?" he asked as you shook your head no. "no, you're drunk," you flicked his forehead. "but i want cotton candy, break chinaware, and drop a guy on water! pretty please?" he pouted as you chuckled. "no."

"can we go to the cinemas? ooooooh, jennifer lawrence's red sparrow is showing!" he stated as you shook your head no. "oh! do you remember the time you fell off the swingset when i ticked you off? HAHAHAHA you couldn't accept the fact that i ranked first and you ranked second!" he laughed as you smacked him. "shut up," ypu said, embarassed.

"oh! and remember when you lifted a whole cooler of pocari by yourself just to support rakuzan as their water girl? HAHAHA!" he laughed loudly, earning a scowl from you. "that's it! i'm not accompanying you to anywhere ever again!" you exclaimed and a cocksure smirk appeared on his face. "are you sure?" he asked then clasped your hands together.

"because you're walking with me down the aisle!" he chirped and kissed the back of your palm gingerly, making your face darken. "what the fuck? you're drunk!" you slapped his head and he chuckled, smiling genuinely at you, and shut his eyes. he looked exhausted, honestly. dark circles due to the late nights he spent trying to contact other countries, tense and stiff shoulders for walking proper everyday and feet sore from standing and walking all day. he was so different from his high school self,

"one day, we will," he said, out of the blue making you jump. "what?" you asked as he opened his lids slowly, then closing it again. "we'll walk down the aisle one day." he said and did not let go of your hand.

he was drunk. he was spitting non-sense.

you tried to persuade yourself. but you smiled to yourself. maybe that wouldn't be a bad idea.

"pew, pew!" akashi said groggily as he shot at the chandelier above him as you were dragging him towards his bed. "god, why are you heavy?" you asked as he stuck his tongue at you. you threw him on the bed. "not heavy. you're just a weakshit." he said and your eyes almost bulged out your sockets. "oh my lord, pigs are flying." you confirmed to yourself as akashi was insulting you.

how could a gentleman-ly figure like him just insult a woman's strength flat out like that?

"go to sleep." you said as he threw his covers. you went towards his feet and removed his shoes. "brat," you muttered under your breath as you heard him trying to snuggle into the sheets. you went towards his fridge in the room and got a glass of water and his bottle of painkillers. you placed it on his bedside table for tomorrow morning. he was going to need it.

"good bye," you whispered and ruffled his head and he groaned in reply.

you walked out of his room and got yourself an uber. not much later the driver arrived and drove you home to your place, on the other side of town.

you looked at your gallery in your phone, and smiled. he was a handful for a drunken guy but you loved seeing such a childish, talkative akashi. no doubt you were going to tease him about that for forever.

forever indeed.

-

wampureber. hehe. anyways that was it! the next drunk guy will be either kise or aomine.
be on the lookout for a new kurobas ff! it's an au i've been obssessing about for months!