19 : Hope

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It was three weeks before present time, the Saturday after the party.

Namjoon had invited his brothers over for soup and tea, a tradition they liked to keep up at least once a month. It was always a time they all enjoyed, eating dinner around the table and conversing about the events going on in their lives.

However, Namjoon couldn't help but quirk an eyebrow when watching Taehyung mindlessly stir around the soup in his bowl while Hoseok was telling stories of his dance class. Particularly, one he taught.

When the boy finished talking, Namjoon turned to the other while grabbing for his glass of water. "Not hungry?"

Taehyung looked up, seeming as if he hadn't been paying attention the whole night.

Jungkook butted in. "I don't think he's felt very good." Out of all the boys, he was the one who was closest to Taehyung. At the same time, So was Jimin.

Still, he kept his voice quiet and Taehyung didn't pay attention.

Usually on these nights, most of the boys would stay aside from Hoseok who would go back home to be with his wife and new baby daughter. Jungkook would usually ride back as well to go back to his dorm to 'study'.

Sure enough, after dinner, the rest were the only ones to stay. Taehyung sat at the dining room table still, reading a mystery novel he'd been working on getting through.

A light blanket was draped over his shoulders, causing him to look up his wide eyes. "Chilly?" It was Namjoon.

"Thanks," Taehyung mumbled before licking a fingertip and flipping a page. The older sat across from him, cradling a mug from the leftover tea.

There was a comforting silence before Namjoon cleared his throat. "You know, you're acting funny again." He smiled a bit, teeth showing while a dimple cratered in his right cheek. "Are you...?" He didn't finish his sentence, not wanting to bring up a particular topic that was sensitive to the boy.

Taehyung shut his book suddenly. "I saw him."

The two boys' eyes met, Namjoon's smile disappearing.

"When me and Jimin went to Jungkook's university. It had to be by chance but it was him."

Namjoon shut his lips that were parted before swallowing. "Okay. Why? Why there?"

Taehyung folded his arms, grabbing the edges of the blanket. "He never told me why. Well, I never asked either, so..."

The older slowly slid his mug away before rubbing his mouth. "Damn."

Another silence.

"Well, he's alive," images of an empty bottle of pills flashed before his eyes as memories began to fire like a loaded gun.

"Hyung?" Taehyung noticed Namjoon go pale.

The older met gazes with the boy beside him again. "Is he okay?" This time, his voice seemed more frantic, no matter his attempts of quieting down his voice.

Taehyung was quick to answer, "Physically, I think. Um... but I don't know." He didn't want to give the other boy false hope. Throughout the year of their brother being gone, Namjoon had been the backbone of their family. Through all the blood, sweat, and tears.

"I didn't tell Jungkook, or Jimin," Taehyung spoke softly. "I just... couldn't. I begged him, hyung, I really did." He took a moment to lick his parched lips. "He said he wasn't ready. I don't— I don't know why."

Namjoon caught something he never thought he'd see come from the younger boy again.

After the funeral for Kimmie, he never witnessed Taehyung shed another tear, even during the service. A portion of Taehyung's heart had hardened over, the portion that belonged to his care for Min Yoongi.

"Taehyung," Namjoon reached out when seeing the boy's lip begin tremble, which caused the other boy to bite it in order to keep it under control.

He got up for a moment to go grab a few paper towels for the younger, which Taehyung accepted shyly when he returned.

"Why can't he understand we don't hate him? Does he feel like since she's gone that we don't care about him anymore?"

"Taehyung, he lost someone important," Namjoon explained. "Someone he wanted to dedicate the rest of his life to. You know how much that takes? I'm not saying it justifies what he did but—" he paused for a moment when feeling a lump in his throat. "Maybe one day he'll realize it."

Taehyung looked away. "He knows I care. I told him, practically forced it. But still, he claimed now wasn't the time."

Namjoon had no idea what to say to console the boy, so instead he scooted closer and place a hand on his sweatpants covered knee. "Hyung will come back, I promise."

"How can you make a promise you can't keep?" Taehyung said back quickly, not meaning to sound so bitter. The older understood, though, rubbing his hand in comfort.

"'Cause I know this is a promise I can keep," He answered Taehyung. "Remember what we told, um... Yoongi?" He was careful about mentioning his name.

"Hope starts small, faith. A little goes a long way. As days go on, it grows. Together, hope grows stronger."

-

A/N

I hope y'all enjoyed the change of pace!

Sober is #916 in fanfiction and that's insane. Thank you all so much ❤️ I love you

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