Anna
Marco was due back tonight. I decided to give him a surprise dinner because we've been married for a year and a half now. Since he would be in Belgium for our second wedding anniversary, and I wasn't sure yet if I could fly in then, I decided to have an advanced celebration.
My decision was influenced in part by the way we left things before he left. I didn't mean to sound so demanding and I wanted to show that I support him in this. I promised I would and I would keep that.
Today, we had a great development. Uncle Santi was given clearance to take back some of the work at the firm. It was good news because with Marco leaving, that was my weakest point in terms of knowledge of the business and Uncle would be there to fill that. I also brought up the topic of my uncle eventually taking back the heading the firm. "I was thinking that I could still do the CFO position, help out with Operations, or some other tasks I can do from Brussels, maybe?"
"What are you talking about, Anna?"
"Uncle, you know that Marco wants to move back to Belgium. I was just thinking, maybe I should look into moving with him, kasi I want this marriage to work."
"Paano yung ice cream shop?"
"I haven't worked out everything yet. But, I'm just putting out options? Sana?"
Uncle Santi agreed to look into it and discuss it in the coming days.
"Anna?" Marco called out.
I jumped. He's here! "Patio!"
He appeared and I ran to hug him. "Hi"
"What's this?" He asked looking at the set up.
I explained to him what I had done. "I have your favorite steak and mashed potatoes, the wine you like and fresh fruits. Happy one and a half year anniversary!"
He gave me a small smile. "I don't deserve you."
"True, but you have me. Lucky you."
"That's cute."
Hmm, he must be more exhausted than I thought, I made him sit and rushed to get the food out. "It's heated na. Sit down and I'll get it para we can eat and then you can rest." Once everything was served, I joined him. "How was your trip?"
"It was great, actually. As soon as I move back, the project can go in full swing. I got you those chocolates you liked," he said.
"Oh wow, thank you."
He fell silent. "Anna, if you ever meet someone who can take my place, sabihan mo lang ako ha?"
"Ayan na naman eh. Didn't we agree not to talk like that?" I said, slightly annoyed that he was taking this tone again. "I'm in this. I'll support your dreams!"
"It's just that it feels unfair to you."
"Marco, was is this really about? From where I am, it doesn't sound like the problem is me supporting your dreams because I've told you over and over again that I'm going to work this out with you. So, what is it? Can you just tell me straight up?"
He took a deep breath.
In that moment, I almost wanted to stop him - tell him not to continue with what he would say. I thought that maybe I didn't want to hear the truth, and he should just continue hiding it and I would pretend that everything was fine.
Because, I knew that things would change and my heart would break... and I didn't want it to.
But at the same time, I needed to hear it.
"I want a trial separation."
"Excuse me?"
"You know how I feel about you, Anna, and it's there, it's still there, but working these past few weeks in Brussels and with this project... It just reignited something in me. I want this type of challenge, I want to live there... I want to see what else I can do in an environment that can nurture my talent and provide me opportunities I don't have in Manila...and I want to contribute there without worrying that I'm being unfair to you by making you wait," He explained.
"And you don't think I can support that?"
"I'm not sure when I'll be back or IF I want to come back. Let's give this trial separation a shot and then see where -"
"A trial separation doesn't make sense. If you're no longer open to other options, just go directly to a separation."
"If that's what you want."
"Oh no, no. Don't turn this on me. You decided on this, I'm just calling it for what it really is."
He just nodded.
I'm uncertain how I was able to keep my voice steady and my tears at bay. "I'll have my lawyers contact you for the paperwork."
"Sure."
I was slowly losing it and took a quick sip of water to help me swallow the giant lump that had formed in my throat. "I have one last favor to ask."
"What is it?"
"I have a conference in Cebu and will be gone for the next three days. I would appreciate it if you have taken all of your personal effects out of this house when I get back."
I didn't wait for his reply. I stood up and went to my room.
I'll be okay. I'll be okay. I'll be okay. Tonight lang ako iiyak and then I'll move on. Tonight lang. Tonight lang.
Then, I allowed myself to break.
