Cupid's Contract

The Business of Love

They were tucked up in a quiet corner of the same bar as the Dreaded Double Date. The only difference was the atmosphere. Last time, the place had been chock a block, the sun drawing people out like flies to honey.

Today?

There was a hint of rain in the cloudy sky and the beer garden was almost deserted, publicans preferring to seek their liquid comfort indoors.

"Ok, so then you politely filled in your exit paperwork and gracefully left the building, right?" Cupid was slurping from a Strawberry Daiquiri, unaffected by the light breeze.

"Er, something like that, I guess. I was definitely graceful. Plus I'm always polite, that's a given." She gulped from her own Gin and Tonic and ignored the chuckles from her companion.

"Well, its to be expected, really."

"What's that supposed to mean? You said the same thing earlier, that I was 'further along'! Explain that too, please." She really was very polite.

Cupid sucked enthusiastically on his straw, his cheeks hollowing out as the frozen drink sloshed about.

"Can you stop that? You'll give yourself a brain freeze."

He smiled, his lips berry pink. "I'm an immortal mythical beast. I don't get brain freeze."

She scrunched up her face. "Beast? I thought you were an incontinent baby. Is that what the diaper is really for? Hiding a tail?"

He spluttered and a strawberry pip landed on Eve's arm. She flicked it away, as he muttered unintelligibly.

"Ok, ok, hakuna your tatas, my little beasty pal. I'm sorry. I'm just freaking out a little."

"A little?" He scowled as he blotted the table around him, the napkin turning pink.

"Just a smidge. I'm unemployed, in case you forgot."

"There's no need to take that out on me, your saviour," he retorted, crumpling the napkin in his fist before slurping again.

"Sorry, my saviour? How's that then? Because from what I can see you're my creepy stalker, who is ruining my love life."

"Ruining? How? And what love life, love? You may have the delightful manners of a house bound concubine but you haven't the patronage."

Concubine? Wasn't that old speak for whore? She was almost offended but, mainly, she was just baffled.

"You are being offensive on so many levels right now." It was her turn to slurp, and the gin hit her empty stomach like a punch to the gut.

"Well get used to it, doll, because we are about to go into business."

"Business? What business?" She finished her drink, the second since they sat down, and grabbed a passing waiter. "More please," she told the thin lad that appeared, his face friendly but his arms covered in goose pimples. "I hope you plan on paying, because I am unemployed. I don't know if we discussed that. But I politely resigned in a manner befit a princess. Like a proper one. Not a married one."

"The Business of Love, sugar, and I actually pay pretty damn well."

"I won't wear a diaper. I haven't the legs for it." There was a thud and Eve was wet. The waiter had been in the process of placing the fresh cocktail on the table and, understandably horrified by the idea of a grown woman in a diaper, knocked the glass, causing its contents to splash all over Eve.

She'd never been able to handle her liquor, especially on an empty stomach like today's, and so she felt nothing except a calm interest in her new damp situation.