Let You Go ||Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader||

Chapter 18

There had been so much for you to think about. Being sick, it really hadn't set in, but you didn't want to go into denial. Kuroo had by far gone into denial. All he had done was sat on the bed with a blank look on his face after he pulled away from you. It felt like his heart was caving in and everything he loved was being torn away from him. He stayed in that position for ten minutes, but you didn't mind because it gave you time to think about what questions he may have.

When he finally began to continue talking, all he could do was throw his arms around your waist. "Why. To you out of all people?" Kuroo buried his face into your shoulder as you sat there, rubbing your hands up and down his back.

"I have an idea." He said, sitting up immediately, before tucking his arms underneath the blankets, in thought. "We're going to make a bucket list for you to do. And we're going to do everything on it. And better yet, if you'll let me, we can do it together. So you won't be alone. And I'll go with you to all of your appointments." The wheels were turning in his head as he thought through all the different things you would want to do, like skydive, or something like that. He wanted you to experience it all. He wanted you to live the best you could.

"Wait what about chemo?" He said, pausing to look at you. Your hair looked the exact same, and so did everything else about you. Maybe you looked a little tired and even thinner, but that was it. "I have severe reactions to it, so the doctors had to opt it out because it was doing more harm than good. So basically I'm doing targeted therapy and something else. One of the biggest side effects is the fact that they I have a problem when I get hurt. I take too long to heal or it doesn't heal properly so I have to be careful." Kuroo sat there, before opening up his phone and taking notes. Once he wrote all the information down, he started a new tab.

Then, your phone started buzzing sporadically, to which you reached over to grab it. You answered the call, before you heard Akaashi's voice over the phone. "What the hell, why didn't you tell me?! You're still logged in under your email on my computer, and I see your results. Why didn't you tell me. Gosh damnit." Was all he could say. You sat there quietly, before whispering, "I'm sorry. I'm telling Kuroo right now, then I'll go and talk to you later, okay?" You said, before Akaashi dropped his tone and let out a sigh. "Yeah of course, sorry for sounding like that I'm just frustrated because I don't want to lose you. I'll see you soon." He said. You finished the call before letting out a deep sigh. Akaashi was going to lose it when you saw him.

"You really told me before Akaashi?" He asked, moving closer to you.

"Yeah, I just wanted you to know, I just needed to get it off my chest." You said softly.

"Can I tell you something?" He asked, before wrapping his arms around you. You willingly let him, actually to be completely honest you missed the feeling of being in his arms. "Of course."

"I'm still in love with you. And I don't think anything will ever change that. And I know what you said before about distance and being frustrated. I know now it was because I was afraid to lose you over time, and the fact that I didn't get to see the person I loved as much as any other couple frustrated me. You bring out the best in me and I always wanted to be at my best because that's when I truly liked who I was. But then I realized that taking it out on you, although it hurt you just as much, wasn't fixing the problem. It made it worse. I never wanted to lose you again, and to know I screwed it up, well that was enough to open a side of me I didn't know was there, the monster. I'm sorry for everything that I had done following the breakup, but I need you to know that I'm still in love with you, I always will be. So if you're okay with a third chance, then that's what I'd like to have. If not, we can still do the bucket list, because I understand why you would say no." Kuroo spilled out all his feelings, and for a minute he broke away from you. You studied his features, and that's when you discovered the swirling emotions glowing in his amber eyes. He meant every single word, the only thing he wanted was you, the desperation in his voice gave it away.

"Let me think about it. But if anything I do accept your apology." You said with a small smile. Even if it wasn't a yes, he was glad to have had you say he was forgiven, that took so much weight off his chest he felt he could run ten miles without his lungs hurting.

"I can deal with that. But, I want you to know you're going to kick cancer's ass, and I can't wait to be beside you when it's finally over." Kuroo said softly, before holding you in his arms again. It was that feeling of being protected that kept you from pulling away, as well as being in his arms felt like you were finally home.