Let You Go ||Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader||

Chapter 20

Kuroo rolled in his sleep, as his chest heaved repeatedly. His skin was coated with sweat and he had already taken off his flannel. He got out of bed, before walking straight out the door and leaning against the porch railing, holding a flask filled with alcohol in his hand.

Within a few hours you were up out of bed, standing behind him, wrapped up in a blanket as he focused on the dark sky. " Nightmare?" you asked, however he kept his back turned against you, before softly speaking, "No, my thoughts." You tilted your head, curious as to what he had to say. You unlocked your phone, realizing Kuroo had dialed you in his drunken state. What was wrong with this man, he seemed to be losing all his marbles. You slipped the phone back in your pocket as he began speaking.

"I screwed up when I let you go the first time around. And I regret that decision so much. I had the most perfect girl, ever, within my reach, and I let her go. I let my ego, pride, and selfishness get in the way of everything. I was so scared to lose you, yet I did. It killed me to see you being in another guy's arms. You brought the best out in me. I'm afraid that it'll happen again. I know that if I let you go, you won't come back this time. You're perfect, you fit basically anyone's personality. You deserve to be spoiled with gifts and endless love. And I get afraid sometimes that you'll find someone who will treat you better than I do. But most of all, I'm afraid that you won't overcome therapy for your cancer." He said, his back still turned to you, you could hear his voice laced with frustration. You noticed the flask sitting in his hand, he was most likely drunk, although you didn't know what led him to drink. You didn't even know he had brought that here.

"Well, earlier I got a call. Something happened, and the cancer healed itself. It's gone. I don't know how, neither do the doctors, but I'm healthy again. So, check that off for your fears because I'm good."

" What if we grow older, will you really be a suitable wife for me?" He said, his words slurred.

"Excuse me?" You replied.

He turned around, bags underneath his eyes and balance off centered. " What if we have kids and you have to be out in the hospital all the time? What if you can't be there for me? What if you're not the same and as we mature as we get older, you won't be the person I first fell in love with? Sometimes it makes me question being with you." He said.

You knew he was drunk, but you felt tiny fractures spread through your heart nonetheless. What he was really feeling appeared, and now that you knew, all you could feel was heartache. You told him about the good news but it seemed to go over his head.

"If you have to question being with me, then you don't deserve to be with me at all." You said, before walking him back to the bedroom, slipping on clothes. You watched as he slowly fell asleep on the bed. Quickly, you added extra layers, snacks and water into a small backpack before you took the bike, closing the door behind you and riding off into the darkness.

Several hours later, Kuroo woke up to the sound of his alarm going off. "I can't believe I didn't turn it off. Sorry," He said aloud, thinking he was speaking to you beside him. He reached over, turning it off on his phone before he reached out for you. However, all his hand caught was empty sheets. He sat up, before searching the whole cabin for you. His pounding headache made it hard to move around, before he took a seat back on the bed. He had absolutely no clue where you were.

In turn, he reached for his phone, noticing that there had been a voicemail left from you. It was from 3 am, what had you been doing awake? His eyes grew wide as bits and pieces came back to him, and he noticed the flask thrown in the trash across from the bed. His heart started pounding as he clicked the button to play it. The first half of the voicemail was muffled, and he was about to click it off before the voices became clear.

" What if we grow older, will you really be a suitable wife for me?"

"Excuse me?"

" What if we have kids and you have to be out in the hospital all the time? What if you can't be there for me? What if you're not the same and as we mature as we get older, you won't be the person I first fell in love with? Sometimes it makes me question being with you."

"If you have to question being with me, then you don't deserve to be with me at all. "

He felt his heart drop. He knew he didn't deserve to be with you, and you had realized that too after all. He f*cked up again. This time he didn't know how to take back the words he said, he couldn't. Once words were spoken, there wasn't any possible way to take them back. He searched his phone for any calls or messages from you. Nothing.

Despite the rush of blood to his head, he rushed out of the cabin seeing the bike gone.

Meanwhile, you were curled up in Akaashi's arms. "Keiji, I don't know what to do anymore. "You said, burying your face in his chest as you sat in the backseat of the car with him on the side of the road, your bike leaning against one of the tires.

"I'm sorry (f/n)," he said softly. "You deserve someone who will give you the world, show you off like you're the prettiest woman to have ever walked the planet. Who will give you gifts and make sure you always feel loved. You're the perfect girl, and you need to know that." He said softly, running his hands through your hair in an attempt to reassure you. You looked up from him, both of you gazing into each other's eyes. HIs blue glistening eyes looked like the ocean, piercing yours. "Keiji?," you whispered, as he started leaning closer to your face, although you did nothing to stop it.