Hiding In Plain Sight

Out

Falling in love is the most beautiful and the most terrible thing that can happen to a person. It makes you care more about them than you care about yourself. It makes you want to scream at the top of your lungs and cry your heart out. It makes you dumb and foolish and, I guess, happy.
Peter never had a choice.
We were hand-picked by someone - he never gets to meet his love on the street - or just passing by - he doesn't get an original story.
He gets the Selection.
I don't want to be forced into loving him - like I have been. I'd rather think he was selfish and strong and a good ruler rather than someone who cannot think about anyone in a time of danger than his beloved.
I never wanted to fall in love.
I wanted to dance.
Over the next couple of days, I see Peter falling out of love with me. He's not looking at me all the time - he's looking at the others. He's going on dates - and the other girls are giggling about how sweet and good he is.
Amelia is still recovering - and in the meantime, Trina and I are planning the death of Serena and Amanda.
I fear that this rebel attack was just a test.
Nehmo has but disappeared from the castle - Sabrina is always busy is her chambers. Peter seems stressed as well.
Jared seems snappy - Trina has been ignoring him.
At dinner one night, Grace is all silent smiles and glances at the Prince - looking away when he looks at her.
It's ripping me in half - but if I focus on dance - then I forget.
I need to forget quicker.
It'll get better, right?
After dinner, I head up to the roof to look at the stars. It starts to rain and I sit there - getting soaked - remembering when we played in the fountain. It was all so much easier then. There was less to worry about.
Shoes squeaking as I head back to my room - I take them off and pad quietly through the halls.
I hear voices - and I freeze.
"I had fun tonight." Peter giggles to someone.
"So did I." A voice responds. My best friend. Trina. She sounds like she means it.
"Maybe I could kiss you goodnight?"
"Of course."
Then silence.
I can't walk down that hall - her room is right there compared to mine.
I run down the steps - and out to the garden.
The rain is pouring down - and there were no guards stationed there. Sobbing, I collapse on my knees. Why does it still hurt this bad? "Get up." A feminine voice says.
I look around - the Queen is sitting under a canopy - alone.
I make my way over to her - and she hands me a handkerchief to wipe my eyes on. "It's not very ladylike to cry in the rain."
"I'm sorry, Your Majesty." I curtsey.
"It's fine. I've cried in the rain many times during the late King James's Selection."
"You did?"
"Yes. He was just like Peter - so I understand the need to cry."
I'm alone with the Queen. I have to tell her now. "I have some important things to tell you, Your Majesty."
"Okay." She smiles at me, thinking the best.
"Nehmo works for Alpha. And so do Amanda and Serena."

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This chapter is killing me...
-Kate^-^