The Adventures of Cuphead and Mugman!

Episode 8B: Shootin n' Lootin

(Start on the beaches of the third isle. CUPHEAD and MUGMAN are walking.)

Cuphead-I've never really been one for the beach. The sand always gets in my shoes.

Mugman-Well, the water looks pretty.

Cuphead-I thought you didn't like the water.

Mugman-I like the water just fine. It's boats I don't like. I get-

Cuphead-Seasick. Right. Why are we even here? We're getting distracted.

Mugman-Look at you, talking about getting distracted!

Cuphead-I'm just saying we need to have a little talk about battle strategy. We need to figure out how to do as much damage as possible.

Mugman-Actually, there's something I've been thinking of. You know how we've only been shooting with one hand at a time?

Cuphead-Yeah.

Mugman-What if we start using both hands?

Cuphead-That's an idea.

Mugman-And I've figured that Charge shot takes four seconds to charge fully, so if I shoot every two seconds alternating hands, I can get double the shots in and therefore double the damage.

Cuphead-Here you go, talking about Charge again.

Mugman-I've already told you, Charge is-

Cuphead-Holy ship!

Mugman-Cuphead, language!

Cuphead-No, I mean there's an actual ship.

(He points at a tall, red pirate ship docked nearby.)

Mugman-Oh, ship!

Cuphead-Let's go check it out!

(He runs off.)

Mugman-Cuphead, wait!

(He runs after CUPHEAD.) 

Mugman-Do we always have to run towards the big thing?

Cuphead-We've been running towards the big thing for the past two days. I'm surprised you're not used to it. Besides, every time we've run towards the big thing, we end up finding a contract.

Mugman-Touche.

(They approach the ship. They see CAPTAIN BRINEYBEARD on the ship's deck. BRINEYBEARD sees them as well.)

Brineybeard-Why, ahoy, mateys!

Cuphead-Ahoy, Captain...

Brineybeard-Brineybeard! Captain Brineybeard!

Cuphead-Ahoy, Captain Brineybeard! (a pause, then referring to the fact that there's no crew to be spoken of) Captain of what?

Brineybeard-Why, the S.S. Silver, of course! It's only the finest ship to ever sail the seven seas!

Cuphead-It is indeed a fine ship. You mind if we take a closer look?

Mugman-Cuphead, if you're trying to do what I think you're trying to do-

Brineybeard-Why, of course, you can!

Mugman-No. Cuphead, please. I don't want to-

Cuphead-(to BRINEYBEARD) Forgive my brother. He's a landlubber.

(MUGMAN rolls his eyes.)

Mugman-"Landlubber?" Cuphead, I'm serious.

Brineybeard-Well, bring him aboard, too! I'm sure we can change his mind.