HYUNG

38

Seokjin's

I was strolling around the busy street of Seoul, thinking about my decisions deeply, thinking about the things I've done and I'll do. Maybe, out of all my decisions, this one will be the very best.

I look around, not minding the curious stares of people who have their brows narrowed, or raised.

They're judging me.

Though I am dressed with a thick black coat, a cap, and a mask. I know I'm right about what they think of me. Every people can't stop their selves from judging.

I understand them, but the way they look at me hurts.

I am currently walking around this city as a normal people, not famous, and not known. What more if they knew I'm Kim Seok Jin? Others might blame me and will judge me more than what I'm receiving right now.

When I've reached the dorm, I made my way to the roof top as fast as I can. I want to breathe.

Inhale. Exhale.

“Life is so cruel.” I whispered to myself, eyes looking at the breathtaking view of Seoul at night.

I closed my eyes, suddenly remembering the talk I've had with Shihyuk-nim and Manager-hyung a while ago.

(A while ago, Big Hit Ent)

“Manager-hyung, PD-nim, I made a decision that I really wanted to be granted..” I said, nervous of the looks they're giving me.

PD-nim knot his eyebrows, “You look pretty serious, Jin-ah. What can we do for you?” He kindly asked, placing his hands atop of mine, making me guilty.

“What is it, Seokjin-ah?” Manager-hyung asked too, smiling.

I gulped. I've thought about this for weeks and now that I'm finally in front of my two powerful role models who made my dreams come true made me think again if this decision of mine was the right thing to do and ask.

“Is it o-okay if I'm g-going to l-leave t-t-the group?” I stuttered, biting my lower lip to calm myself down.

They both looked at me before looking at each other. It's like they're talking through their eyes, trying to read each other's thoughts about my sudden decision.

It's for the best, I think.

“Why? Are you not happy with us anymore? Is it because of the bashers? The other fans blaming you? Jin, why is this so sudden?” PD-nim's sad and confused eyes meets mine so I look down.

“I've thought about this so much, PD-nim. Now I wanted the group to be in peace. I'm causing chaos and I don't want that.” I mumbled, my voice lowering.

“Let me guess, you don't want to hurt their feelings?” Manager-hyung said which made me nod in agreement.

“But BTS isn't BTS without their wonderful visual with a vocal of an angel.” PD-nim sadly whispered yet still audible for me to heard.

I felt my heart warmed, etching a little smile at the side of my lips. PD-nim and Manager-hyung, along with my co-members are amazing persons.

I explained my reasons to them and they listened carefully at my words. I hope I won't regret this decision.

Moments later, they accepted my request. Though they cried for me to stay, they said that they wanted me to be happy so they'll just let me. They respect my decision.

“When are you going to tell them that you're leaving the group?”

Shihyuk-nim's questions made me choke on nothing, making me gasp for air but immediately straightened up my posture.

“I really don't know, hyung.”

“Are you sure you wouldn't change your decision anymore?” It's Manager-hyung who asked, his eyes now full of hope.

I sighed, looking down as I don't want to meet their eyes that's hoping for me to change my decision. It's for the best. I'm only causing troubles in this group, also knowing what they feel for me. I'm doing this for the all of us to move on.

“Yes,” I said along with a sad smile. “I think it's for the best.” I added.

“If you say so, We respect your decisions, Jin.”

We talked about things. Special moments, reminiscing times, their silent sobs, and sad smiles, but they let me.

I love them.. very much.

That's how my conversation with them ended and me ending up being here at the roof top of our dorm.

IT'S FOR THE BEST.

BEST, WITHOUT ME.

I opened my eyes, only to realize that tears started streaming down my eyes like a waterfall, an ocean, maybe I need to swim?

I'm ready to let go,

This is for everyone.

So I need to say goodbye now..

Till next time?

Till the next time.