Running from My Past

For You, Emo Nightmare

I pulled my hood over my head and moved my bangs to cover more of my face. I had reapplied my makeup to cover my black eye. Luckily the rest were covered with my hoodie and my chest had taken the worst of the beating.

My anxiety was high today. My conversation with Deceit last night was probably causing most of it. What if he was right? How could anyone care about me, especially if they found out the real reason I was here? I should stop putting it off, get it over with, do what I came here to do and regain my place but something held me back. I was hesitant to follow through. Could I really do that to them? To Thomas?

I sat on my bed and stared at the pieces of my card. Patton's drawings may be childish but he had put all of his heart into it. I connected the two sides to complete the picture. If only everything could be fixed like that.

There was a knock on the door that made me jump. I quickly bolted up and shoved the parts of the card under my pillows. I flicked my hood up to my face and ran a hand through my bangs. There was more knocking. I raced over and prayed that whoever it was didn't realize what had happened. I cracked the door open to see Roman on the other side.

"Greetings Virgil." Then his face dropped when he saw mine. "Are you alright?" Oh no, did he see a bruise? Did I miss one? No no no no no.

"I'm fine," I snapped as I pulled my hood down farther.

"No, your not Virgil, I can tell. It's another bad day isn't it?" I contemplated on what to tell him. A small part of me wanted to tell him everything but the rational one knew that I couldn't. So instead I just nodded. It would be good to have a distraction today.

"Well Logan is working on a project and Patton is with Thomas, so would you like to go to the garden? If not I'm sure Patton or Logan would put on hold what they are doing." I sighed before nodding again.

"I don't want to bother anyone," I muttered. He pushed the door open wider so that I could step out.

"Nonsense your not going to bother anyone. While I don't like the reason behind these occasions they are quite relaxing and I enjoy them." I shoved my hands in my pockets as we walked down the hallway and out the front door.

"And it's a lovely day, all the flowers are starting to bloom and the birds are chirping." I nodded as he talked, focusing on hiding my slight limp. Technically we could make any day a lovely one in the mind space but sometimes I liked to watch it rain. Or other times Thomas' emotions influenced the weather.

We walked down the path side by side with Princey pointing out flowers and making comments on their size, type, and color. "Oh look at this one!" He strolled off the path and picked the flower in question. It was a purple rose so dark that it was almost black. He knelt in front of me and held out the flower.

"For you, Emo Nightmare." He smiled and I blushed as I slowly wrapped my fingers around it's stem, careful not to let any of the thorns puncture me. He laughed as I lifted it to my face and sniffed, the sweet fragrance overtook my senses. I gave Roman a small smirk before he turned around.

A flash of yellow caught my eyes and I frowned. No, he couldn't be here, not now. My heart rate sped up and I took a sharp breathe. Deceit gave me a grin as he saw me looking at him. Don't get too close, he mouthed before he gave a silent laugh and disappeared.

"Virgil?" I snapped around to see Princey looking at me with concern. "Are you alright?" I nodded before following him to the usual spot underneath the concealing branches of the weeping willow. I waited until he turned his back to me before slowly sitting down. It was painful to move too fast but I didn't want Roman to see. He would ask too many questions. Roman also sat down in the grass.

"What were you doing in my room anyways, Princey?" Not many times did they ever come there. Especially since my door moved a lot. I'm not sure why or how but sometimes I would leave my room only to find it in a different hallway when I came back. That meant that he had been searching for me.

"I wanted to apologize for what I said yesterday. I didn't mean any of it, I was confused and desperate. Your not a villain. You are important to us and I'm really sorry. So so sorry. Especially if what I said is the reason that your anxiety has spiked today." I was shocked. Princey was apologizing? Patton must have put him up to this, there was no way. I closed my eyes and let the sounds of the garden wash over me.

"It's okay. I know you were angry with me. I'm used to it. Your not causing this either if it helps."

"Then what is the reason?" he asked. I kept my eyes closed as I debated on what to tell him. definitely not the truth. God, I sounded like Deceit.

"I dunno why," I lied. He would take that answer because sometimes anxiety really wasn't rational. He let out a small sigh at my words. I brought my knees to my chest and he scooted closer until we were about a foot apart.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" I shook my head. There was no use in lying about that. He closed the space between us and wrapped his arms around me. I flinched at his touch, causing my torso to feel like knives were piercing it. "I'm sorry," he whispered before starting to pull away.

"No, it's okay," I assured. He nodded before wrapping his arms back around me. He started to hum a tune and I let myself fall into his voice.

"When I see your smile," he sang. "Tears run down my face. I can't replace and now that I'm strong I have figured out, how this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul." He glanced down at me and continued to sing. I didn't know this song but it didn't matter to me. I had opened my eyes to watch him. Princey was kinda cute when he sang, putting all of his focus and all of his heart into the song.

"I will never let you fall. I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be with you through it all. Even if saving you sends me to heaven." I smiled and leaned my head onto his shoulder.

I forgot all about Deceit's warning as I fell asleep to Roman's singing.

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Song- Your Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus