Aftermath • Drarry

029

I'm tired of living in the shadows

These paper walls I can't break through- Isaac Gracie; Silhouettes Of You

***

'For todays group therapy I thought that I might be a good idea if we talk about something positive?' dr. Dolan started, and even though she did not look directly at Harry, I knew she did this to cheer him up a bit. 'So, who wants to begin with a nice experience from their childhood?'

What this had to do with our recovery was a little bit of a mystery for me, maybe she would bring it up again during our one-on-one session like she did quiet often. It was a smart and subtle way to let us talk about the things that were haunting us in our dreams.

'I would like to begin,' Lydia said happily. 'I remember the one time I went on a holiday with my mom and dad. We went to Spain and it was so beautiful there! I ate lots of ice cream, swum in the deepest lakes and ate lots of pizza as well,' she continued and by the way she looked I could tell that she was reliving all those good memories. 'But my father used to rape me every night if my mother was not around. He did not listen to me when I begged him to stop, he just smiled at me with that creepy, ugly smile of his.'

The smile that had been formed on the now pink-coloured lips of dr. Dolan disappeared directly. But Lydia had not caught her off her guard for a single moment. 'I am happy that some part of your holiday was nice,' she said, writing something down in her book.

'Honey, would you like to go next?'

As the other girl continued to tell her story I noticed that Zion was staring at me with his big, brown eyes. When he noticed me staring back a smirk formed on his lips, something that made me feel incredibly uncomfortable. He did not stop staring until he heart his name being called by our therapist.

'Zion, what is one of you happiest childhood moments? Could you please tell us something about that?'

He shrugged, showing that he would rather not. Realising that he had to, he spoke up after a few silent seconds. 'My favourite childhood moment was the day that I graduated,' he said, something that I did not thought about as the happiest moment in someone's life. Of course, graduating would make you feel happy, but so happy that there was no other memory that could beat it?

'Alright,' dr. Dolan said after she got his hint about not wanting to say anything more about it. Strangely enough, she accepted that he did not want to talk about it anymore then he had already done, which was barely anything. 'Mr Malfoy, you are up next.'

'Well,' I said, thinking about a happy moment in my life. I had had many good moments, but what exactly was the best one? In which one was I so happy that it could beat all the others?

That was the whole point of happiness; you only realise you have it when it is gone. People take their happiness for granted nowadays, they always seem to crave for more. More friends, more money, more love. They are never completely satisfied, so when they push the things away that make them truly happy, they only realise how lucky they were when it is over. You only realise how precious something is to you when you have lost it. Before that you just take it for granted. We all do that; no one is perfect.

'I think my happiest childhood moment would be the day my father learnt me how to play a popular sport, it is something most people play where I come from,' I spoke. My eyes found a green pair, who nodded in agreement. Harry and dr. Dolan were the only ones that knew about the existence of Quidditch. 'He took me outside for an entire day, we really had fun even though I sucked at it back then. However, my dad did not seem to care about that. He, for once in his life, really was patient. We played until it got dark and my mother brought us some food. She had been watching us play the entire afternoon with a big smile on her face. I believe she tried to play it as well.'

That day we really had been a close, loving family. Even though it only was for a day I had realised how precious moments like that were. I had never stopped longing for an other day like that one, a day filled with laughter and love.

'That is a wonderful memory,' our therapist said with satisfaction in her voice. 'And you Lucia? What would one of your happiest childhood moments be?'

'The birth of my little brother,' she said, without even thinking. 'I remember holding him for the first time. He looked so small and precious. I never wanted to let go off him, my dad basically had to pull him out of my arms. From that moment on I never stopped loving him, the need to protect him never disappeared. All I wanted back then was to be a mother myself so that I could have someone to wash when my mother would wash him, someone to feed when my mother would feed him.'

I knew that Lucia had a family, since we all have one. That only made it stranger to me that there was no one that came to visit her on Saturday afternoon; she was the only person (besides Zion who was not allowed to have visitors) who was not there.

'That is such a beautiful memory Lucia, thank you for sharing that with us,' dr. Dolan praised her. My eyes found a pair of light-blue ones and a smile formed on my lips. She just smiled back at me. 'Alright, would you like do to the honour of being the last person to shear their memory with us, Mr Potter?'

He thought for a moment, allowing me to take a good look at his beautiful, but broken face. I knew he still felt like a piece of shit, how could he not? He had only recently broken-up with Ginny, the wounds were still fresh.

'When I got to spend my first Christmas with people who actually loved me,' he then said, smiling softly at the thought of it. No matter how much I wanted to look at the prettiest boy God had ever created my eyes were drown back to a pair of brown ones who were still looking at me. The red-haired boy had not stopped looking at me for a single second, something that made me even more uncomfortable. Zion's presence made me nervous, but him staring at me like that made me want to throw up.

'I remember waking up on Christmas Morning and hearing my best friend say that there were presents for me as well. I got this horrible sweater his mother had made, but loved it anyways. I loved everything about that Christmas, from the singing to the cooking. Everything was filled with so much love.'

Suddenly something changed in his eyes, they were no longer looking happy but sad. 'That was the first Christmas I spend with Ginny,' he whispered really softly, allowing only my ears to catch his words. My hand immediately grabbed his and even though there were so many things I wanted to say my lips did not open.

I really wished that I could take away that horrible pain that was stuck inside of him.