Severus Talks - Severus Snape (COMPLETE)

Darkness

It had been so long since Slughorn had left, since the Marauders had done something as trivial as throw him into the Whomping Willow's tyrannic path. He was a seventh-year - had completed an arduous month of Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests and was very much looking forward to never looking back; that is to say, never returning to Hogwarts.

It was shame, Severus felt, to have awaited his acceptance letter so eagerly and then to hate all seven of his so-called 'magical' years. Then, it was to escape his father's dictatorial presence - but now, after both of his parents had passed away, neither peacefully, he had nothing left to fear. He could return to Spinners End and enjoy the eerie silence, read books on Dark Arts books that he'd promised Lily he'd never read, and join the Death Eaters. Lily had finally forsaken him. She'd chosen Potter.

Severus always knew he was hardly tough competition if they were talking looks. Many people found Potter's messy hair and knobbly knees attractive and he knew that nobody would look twice at him if he was next to the idiot Gryffindor. But Lily was one of those people who never judged what you were on the outside. She had a way of seeing the beauty in others, even—and, perhaps most especially—when that person could not see it in themselves. She'd taught him not to judge Petunia on principle, and if Lily's sister hadn't gone and married a walrus, perhaps they would still have retained their rocky relationship.

He thought that Lily liked him for what he was on the inside. He'd once asked, why -

She had blinked and given him a confused look. "I like you because you're smart, and I find your dark humour funny. It may not seem so, but you are always willingly to help, to give advice. The others, they see an awkward boy, socially awkward, and they see bitterness, even anger. I see a troubled teenager, one who experienced terrible things, things that no-one should ever see, and was warped into who he is now - a bitter man, but amiable and kind and funny once you get to know him. I like how you've overcome your past, overcome adversity. I like you for being you."

She'd always been so truthful. But then, when he'd asked what she liked about Potter, she'd lied.

"He's always so nice and friendly," she'd said. It had sounded pathetic to Severus' ears. "He thinks about me and he takes care of me. I can picture James as someone I'll grow old with." 

It hurt to hear her saying that about someone who'd bullied Severus for years.

He should've asked, 'why not me?' But Severus had always been one for missing opportunities. Maybe he would get the power and attention he so craved with the Dark Lord. Maybe they would see his talent, what he was good at. They would see his aptitude at Potions, his skill for duelling, his endeavour to succeed. He would be a slave to someone once more and he'd no longer have to make his own choices.

To rule, or be ruled.

And Severus had known, for a long time, that he'd never come out on top.

Rule or be ruled.

The darkness would rule him. 

Always.

*****

A.N. I feel like this chapter has a lot more direction than the last one. They'll be a lot more time skips now - the next chapter will be Severus joining Hogwarts as a Death Eater-turned-spy.

Thank you for reading and please comment!!!!!