Severus Talks - Severus Snape (COMPLETE)

Forgiveness

"You owe your life to him, Severus," Minerva hissed fiercely. They sat at the high table in the Great Hall and Severus was beside her, firmly ignoring Lupin a few seats down.

"I know," replied Severus quietly. "Perhaps that's why I'm so irritated."

"Just thank him," Minerva advised. "How hard can it be?"

Severus snorted. 

"In my experience," he said, "too hard."

*

"Lupin," Severus spoke, catching the attention of the younger professor. It was late and the two of them were patrolling the Gryffindor Tower. It had been the case that there was more security there since the attack on the Fat Lady.

"Yes, Severus?"

"I never got round to thanking you... for saving my life." Severus was hesitant as he said it. It was difficult for him to express emotion, especially gratitude.

Remus looked surprised.

"You didn't have to thank me," he said, turning to face his colleague. "I would have done it for anyone. Also, I should thank you for not revealing all about my condition back in our sixth year."

Severus appeared grumpy.

"I was coerced," he admitted. "Dumbledore."

"Ah," uttered Remus, "why am I not surprised? Dumbledore, king of the manipulators."

They walked further down the corridor.

"I'm almost shocked that you take my view." Severus paused mid-stride and looked at Remus, his dark eyes filled with an emotion the other could not discern.

Remus laughed. The dark eyes glittered. "Severus Snape cannot experience shock, surely?"

The Potions Master chuckled briefly, before moving on to check the alcoves and hidden corridors behind tapestries.

"Also, Severus," Remus added, hurrying forwards, "I must apologise for the actions of Peter, James and Black."

The shadows hid Severus' face from view. "Dead men can take their errors to their graves and hope for penance there," came his bitter voice, "and those incapacitated can reap rewards in solitude."

"Can I not plead for their forgiveness?" Asked Remus desperately. "Peter, at the very least."

"Pettigrew was almost as keen as Black to end my life," Severus replied darkly. "I am not the person you should be asking. It's not as if I've not done the truly horrific. I just may see worse, however Pettigrew and Potter will not, safely ensconced in heaven."

"Safely ensconced?" Cried Remus. "They gave their lives!"

"I gave mine," Severus retorted, just as vehemently. "You just don't know what to."

"The Death Eaters?" Suggested Remus. "Voldemort's scum?"

Severus exclaimed at this, hand flying to his left forearm. His face wrinkled in pain. He backed into the nearest wall and slid slightly down it.

"Don't talk about things you don't understand!"

"Then help me too!"

"No!"

Severus slid further down the wall. Those same words that Lily had uttered all those years ago.

"Don't talk about things you don't understand!"

"Then help me to! What are you so afraid of?"

Lily's outburst scared Severus. He could no longer protect her, covet her cotton-wool upbringing. There could be no turning back.

"My scars run deep," Severus admitted, head bowed towards the floor.

"You are upset at your mother's death – I understand that," Lily stated, putting a hand on his wrist. He shook it off.

"No, you don't get it! Not just_ not just mental scars_ physical scars_ my father_ he beat me." Severus turned away from the wide-eyed girl.

"I'll ask Madam Pomfrey to give you a draught of Dreamless Sleep," said Lily desperately. She didn't want to believe the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"Please, please understand Lily! I'm not lying!" Severus' voice broke.

"Then prove it."

Remus approached the shaking man.

"Severus," he said. "Severus," he repeated, more urgently. The other was lost, lost in memories.

"Stay away from me, Lupin," Severus spoke at last, slowly getting up off the floor. "You bring up_ bad memories. Get away!"

He scrambled away as far as he could.

The werewolf stared at the retreating man, confused and hurt. Ignorance had always been his problem. Intended ignorance or simple ignorance. When he had known, he had done nothing. And when he hadn't known... that was when he had done something. A terrible act. But Remus did not know what it was. What Severus was so afraid of.

*****

A.N. I have decided that there shall be a Part 3 to Harry's third year. I have too much content to squeeze it into two chapters.

Thank you for reading and PLEASE COMMENT!!!!!!!!!