Serendipity ∞ SEOKSOO

XXVI: Vingt-Six

VINGT-SIX

"Seokminㅡ"

"Mom, you can't make me change my mind," Seokmin seriously said without even taking his eyes off his phone.

He is texting Jisoo right now, so please don't disturb him as much as possible.

"Well, maybe Jisoo could," she said, and shrank on the bed beside him. "Didn't he say anything?"

"He doesn't know," Seokmin answered, and clicked the button 'send'.

"Honey, please, think about it again," his mother begged him, and held his shoulder. "Y-You can't just make a decision like that. . ."

"Mom, stop. It's my life anyway, please let me decide on my own," Seokmin insisted.

"Seokmin, I know it's your life, but come on, come to think of us. . . you are our lifeㅡ"

"I AM NOT!" Seokmin shouted, his voice rose suddenly which startled his mother.

He looked at her, only to notice the tears that were building up in the corners of her eyes. It was filled with melancholy. Seokmin wanted to hug her, wanted to tell her everything will be fine, but no words can be made up.

There was something stuck in his throat that he suddenly lost his voice. He gulped, wanting to clear it.

"Mom, I am not anyone's life, can't you see? You. . . you deserve more than just sacrificing your days to keep me going," Seokmin said. "Wonwoo hyung, Mingyu, Soonyoung hyung, Seungkwan, Minghao. . . don't you think they deserve to live their life rather than just be stuck here and look after me?"

"Seok, don't think about it that way. . . we love you, and we would do anything for you, to make you happyㅡ"

"Do you think I am happy?" Seokmin asked weakly, then his eyes too became watery.

"Aren't you?" She asked, her voice shaking.

"Mom, how can I be happy?" He asked back. "All my life I am jailed in this damned hospital. I see everyone around me sacrificing so much for me. Mom, how can I ever feel happiness?!"

"And what? Do you think you'd be happy if you kill yourself?"

"Aren't I already dying? What difference could it make, Mom?"

She pursed her lips as she heaved in a deep sigh, and looked down, avoiding her son's eyes which were a deep ocean of pain and hopelessness.

"Talk to Jisoo. Only he can tame you," she said, and gave up on arguing with him. "And make sure to tell him," she added as she stood up, and left Seokmin alone in his room.

Seokmin sighed. He lifted his forearm, and saw bruises in it again. Seokmin wiped his eyes before his tears could drop from them.

He immediately called Jisoo, just as he always does whenever he needs him, which he always does too.

"Hey."

"Hi, Jisoo."

"Hi, Seokmin," Jisoo said on the other line. "You called. Did something happen?"

"No, I just want to hear your voice," Seokmin answered.

"You always do though," Jisoo replied as he chuckled. "How are you?"

"Fine, of course," he responded, and smiled though his voice is near to breaking.

"You don't have to lie to me about everything, Seok.," Jisoo said. "Are you crying?"