Serendipity ∞ SEOKSOO

XXXIX: Trente-Neuf

TRENTE-NEUF

Days had passed by so fast that Jisoo had almost lost track of it all. He would only remember how many days it had been every time he looks at the calendar.

He has been inside the hospital for almost the whole day that he couldn't figure out night from day and day from night while he is inside.

He has been spending all his days inside the hospital that he had almost forgotten how it feels like to be outside, to be under the rays of the sun, under the light of the stars and the moon.

He doesn't like being outside because he remembers Seokmin on everything his eyes could see, his ears could hear, his mouth could taste, his skin could feel, and his nose could smell.

The sight of the flashing lights and even fire alarm buttons, the sight of smiling faces, of hands held tight, of towers, of buildings, of people;

The sound of guitars, of noises, of laughter, of screams in the parks, of music, of singing voices;

The taste of coffee (which Seokmin really really loved since he first tasted it), of ice cream, of cotton candies, of steak, of chocolates;

The smoothness of the paper and table napkins which is like Seokmin's hands, the softness of the pillows like his cheeks and lips, the edge of a knife like his jaw;

The scent of perfumes, of chlorine, of mint, of menthol, of rain and soil after rain (petrichor which they say is the term);

All of them. . . regardless of how small or big those are, in the slightest bit, Jisoo remembers Seokmin in all of them.

Jisoo remembers and sees Seokmin in everything. He could imagine Seokmin smiling at him, chuckling at everything he does, and holds his hand secretly.

It has been five days. . . but Jisoo's pain never ceased growing and getting more enormous, killing and crushing and breaking the last scrap of hope and happiness.

It has been five days. . . but until now, Jisoo still isn't ready to let Seokmin go, still isn't done of crying, still isn't tired of praying for Seokmin's cure.

It has been five days. . . but nothing had changed; only the machines are keeping Seokmin alive.

Jisoo sat on the couch, his eyes swollen and restless, his face pale and worn out. Then the door was opened, revealing Seokmin's parents with Seokmin's half-sister, Seulmi.

They have been regularly visiting Seokmin. Seulmi, despite not having good relationship with Seokmin nor have even talked with Seokmin, she insists to come.

Jisoo saw Seulmi cry once, that was the first time she visited Seokmin, and she cried her heart out. Jisoo heard how she whispered that she wanted to know Seokmin more with sobs making her voice barely coherent.

He saw how Seulmi sobbed on Seokmin's chest, and wished she could turn back the time, she would talk to Seokmin more, make him smile, and give him the warmest hugs (warmer than Jisoo's, she even said).

Jisoo stood up, and bowed at them. Seokmin's mother went to him, and hugged him. "How are you?"

"Nothing better than yesterday. . . I guess," Jisoo lifelessly answered, and forced a smile.

She smiled, and kissed Jisoo's crown. That had been a habit of Mrs. Lee, kissing Jisoo's head. It's not that Jisoo is complaining, instead, he feels the comfort of a mother every time his supposed to be mother-in-law does that.

It has been years since he last felt a love of a mother, and he wouldn't mind if he feels the same love from Seokmin's mother, besides she is Jisoo's mother already.