lessons | k.th + p.jm (j.jk)

† • ten

shit shit shit

∞

I stared down at Taehyung in shock, I don't know what had come over me.

"T-Tae I-I" I wasn't sure what to say, what were you supposed to say?

"What the fuck Park?" he questioned sitting up rubbing his neck, softly flinching at the bruises.

"I-I'm sorry..." I slowly spoke.

"Sorry?! What happened to you?" he yelled at me.

"I-I don't know! I guess my hormones were going crazy!" I yelled back in confusion and guilt.

"Hormones?! Or just horny?" he threw at me. I froze not knowing how to answer because I didn't know if it was the real reason or not.

I took a deep breath, my elbows rested on my knees. "Look if anything those marks will make Jungkook want you more..." my voice monotoned and lifeless. I groaned before standing up grabbing my bag.

"Where are you going?" He asked confused.

"Home," I replied bluntly.

"You're actually leaving right now?! After doing that?!" His voice grew with anger, I glared at him, conflicted.

"I think that's best Tae..." I paused before exiting out the door towards my own home.

My head was spinning with thoughts, no matter what I was doing I kept hurting Taehyung. I needed to get a hold of my emotions quickly because I keep taking it out on him. And he doesn't deserve that, he doesn't deserve to be the end of my problems. I stumbled my way back to my home, jumping over the small fence connecting our two houses.

I felt drunk, drunk on my own thoughts and feelings. My head was spinning and I found it hard to walk straight. The image of Taehyung under me with teary eyes and red and purple marks on him wouldn't leave my head. 

Why did I keep fucking up so much?

I shakily opened my front door with my key and kicked off my shoes. I held my head in my hands as I stumbled my way to the stairs, desperate for my own bed, desperate to sleep to forget all of this. I held my free head on the wall before I was suddenly stopped and pushed back.

"What the fuck..." I groaned, opening my eyes properly to see I had banged into someone coming down the stairs. "Taeyong?!" I widened my eyes even more in utter confusion.

"Shit... sorry Jimin..." he groaned rubbing his shoulder I bumped into.

"What are you doing here? Tae said you were out?" My eyebrows were furrowed, I was not in the mood to deal with conflict right now.

"Yeah about that..." he rubbed the back of his neck and looked up.

"TAEYONG WAIT FOR ME!"

My eyes grew even larger when I heard my sister's cute loud voice filling the air.

"No..." I looked at Taeyong with a death glare, he bit his bottom lip slightly as an unspoken apology. "You... mother fucker-"

"Taeyong are you-"

Sana had a massive smile on her face which immediately fell when she saw me at the bottom of the stairs.

"Jimin..."

"What the fuck is going on?" I finally asked, my day kept getting worse.

"Jimin listen-" Taeyong began.

"No let me guess, your secret girlfriend is actually my sister?!" I prayed I was wrong, I prayed they were going to answer with a 'no he was just visiting'.

But no, they remained silent and looked at the floor, indicating what I said was right.

"Pfft, you've got to be kidding me..." I threw my hands to the back of my head, letting my back fall on the wall

"Jimin I know this must be a lot but I need you to not tell Tae-"

"Not tell Tae?" I stared at his older brother in disbelief. "Why the hell wouldn't I?" I argued.

"Because my family hates Sana okay?" I gave him a questioning look, I glanced over at my sister who had a hard to read look.

"I don't under-"

"When dad died..." Sana took a step forward and started speaking, "...Mum asked for money, from Taehyung and Taeyong's parents, I obviously didn't know this until she ran away and I had no choice but to ask their parents for help, I didn't realise how much Mum actually owed them till I asked but basically they still expect to pay them back for our Mum and it's just not that easy so at the moment they really... they really don't like me."

I tried my best to process everything they were telling me fast, it was a lot to take in.

"Look, my parents aren't stupid, they know that you had nothing to do with your Mum asking for money that's why they don't care you hang out with Taehyung, plus they know how long you two have been friends. Just if they found out about me and Sana I'd be screwed and-"

"Okay, whatever!" I snapped. "I don't care I won't tell Taehyung, just leave me alone..." I wanted nothing to do with their Romeo and Juliet love, it made me feel sick. For as long as I remember Taeyong was a big brother to me and now it feels like my two older siblings are dating. I opened my bedroom door to only be flashed with another image of Taehyung in my head. When he held me on my bed when my Mum left me and Sana.

I took a deep breath and sighed, I didn't deserve him, I didn't deserve any of him, I just keep hurting him, and he has never once hurt me.

JiminiePark
I don't expect you to forgive me,
I fucked up I know,
I hurt you Tae I'm so sorry...
<<Read at 5:34 pm>>

I groaned before smashing my self onto my bed, seeing Taehyung leaving me on read felt like another punch in the arm. 

∞

Time to sleep and forget