lessons | k.th + p.jm (j.jk)

† • twenty-six

It had been about 2 months and I still was having trouble confessing my feelings to Taehyung. Any chance I tried to I would either stiff up and get too scared and back out, or something would interrupt us or Taehyung would get distracted and/or leave. It was a never-ending battle that was doing a number on my mental state.

Taehyung's birthday passed, our friendship group just went out for lunch as Tae didn't want to do anything big. I was pretty quiet the whole night and wasn't paying attention to much, I guess you could call me selfish as it was Taehyung's day and I was wallowing in my sadness.

But I couldn't help it, seeing Jungkook and him being so loving towards each other to the point where they are now referred to as a couple. When they're asked about their status they just shrug their shoulders a mumble 'it's whatever'. A bit of me thinks its Jungkook's way of getting back at me, considering since I told him about my feelings towards Tae he gives the boy a lot more attention than before.

For example, chatting in the cafeteria now consisted of Jungkook placing Taehyung on his lap and lathering him in kisses whenever he could while always managing to keep eye contact with me. Tae and I eventually did stop being sexual with each other, lessons came to a stop and Tae eventually started having sex with Jungkook.

I hated it, I hated every second of it. My hatred for everyone was growing every day and for once I wanted something to go my way. I hated Taeyong and my sister together because I still had to keep their stupid secret. I hated Jungkook which goes without saying. I hated my friends, Hoseok for smoking, Yoongi for still asking for hookups, Namjoon for having someone like Seokjin in his life. I hated my parents for leaving and how mother still hasn't come back. I hated my head and the way it thought. I hated school and its workload. I wanted to hate Taehyung, I wanted to hate him so bad so that way I wouldn't have these strong feelings for him, I could get rid of him in my life and not feel anything.

But I can't because I feel everything for him, everything I do, think and feel is for or because of him.

And I hate that.

As for right now, it's October 13th, also known as my birthday. Taehyung took me out for dinner for just us two which I did appreciate, I always crave our moments together. Our food had arrived as we were close to finishing up.

"So, you and Jungkook," I began. A blush crept up on his cheeks as he smiled sweetly. "He treating you good?" I asked sincerely.

He nodded happily, "Yeah he is."

"Can I just ask Tae, what is it that you see in him?" I questioned casually.

He shrugged his shoulders, "He's kind, cares about me, hot and sexy, funny, I don't know he just makes me happy," he explained as drew circles on the table.

"D-Do I, still make you happy?" I mentioned quickly.

He looked up at me a little confused, "Of course you do Park, you're always my number one." His hand reached forward and attached to mine across the table, his thumb gently caressing my hand. I wanted to cry, I really did like this boy.

"Hey is it okay if I tell you something?" I urged taking a deep breath preparing myself to confess a massive thing.

"When we get home, I'm ready to head out of here," he replied getting up from his seat. I nodded before following him out of the building.

∞

To say I was taken back when pulling up to my house was an understatement. Taehyung and I exited the car as I kept staring at the house.

"Suprise Park," Tae retorted. This idiot threw a surprise party for me at my house. Almost everyone from school was partying in my home. Music was blasting and the lights were going crazy. It looked awesome.