Song of Shadows

Chapter Eleven

Azriel

"Because Tamlin ran right back to Hybern after your meeting ended this morning. Right to their camp in the Spring Court, where Hybern now plans to launch a land assault on Summer tomorrow."

The moment the words leave Jurian's lips, I winnow to the war camp. Cassian paces around the commander's tent, studying the maps in front of him. None of the other warriors say a word.

"Leave us," he barks when he notices me. The others hurry out, muttering under their breaths. Cassian's hazel eyes meet mine. "What is it?"

"Everyone is alright," I say. My thoughts turn to Elain. The devastation and grief on her face... I shake my head to clear it. "Jurian says..."

"Jurian?" Cassian spits out. His gaze burns with anger. "What in the hell are you doing associating with Jurian?!" He throws his hands up in frustration and walks to the tent entrance.

"Calm down, brother," I say. "I promise I will explain everything later. Hybern is planning on attacking Tarquin's lands tomorrow. We need to mobilize the troops, now."

The smoldering rage dims slightly, but Cassian's shoulders remain taut. He nods before exiting the tent, barking orders to pack up camp and be ready to march. Not one soldier makes a noise of complaint. I winnow to the Summer Court lands to begin scouting.

Several hours later, I winnow to the side of my High Lord, deep in discussion with Cassian and the camp leaders. I studiously ignore Keir. All eyes turn to me as I step forward, indicating a field that would make a perfect ambush place. Rhys and Cassian give me warm smiles, despite the weight of the upcoming battle on their shoulders.

I walk towards my tent, moving silently through the sleeping camp, when the sound of sobbing catches my attention. Nesta sits at the fire with Mor and Feyre. I slip into their tent to find Elain huddled into a tight ball in her bed. She lifts her tear-streaked face as I kneel beside the cot. Our hands find each other, the skin of hers is icy. "Azriel..." she chokes out.

"I'm sorry, Elain." The grief in her eyes threatens to drive the air from my chest. A mirror to the pain in my mother's face the night she died. Her sobs begin again, so I shift her into my arms, offering the only thing I can: a shoulder to cry on. I stroke her hair softly until her crying subsides into soft sighs and hiccups.

Her flower and green scent wraps around me. "How... how do you stand it, Azriel?" she whispers into the darkness. I wipe the tears from her swollen eyes.

I cock my head to one side, weighing her question. "What do you mean?"

"Morrigan." My heart leaps at the sound of her name. I fight to keep my face neutral and calm, even though I know Elain can't see it in the darkness of her tent. Her tone is gentle and soothing. "I... I've seen the way you look at her."

Shaking my head, I pull my hand away from Elain. The warmth drains from my body. "Mor has no idea how I feel about her."

Elain lays her hand on my shoulder. "Yes, she does. I think it scares her though."

I let out a humorless chuckle and rest my head on my hands. "Mor deserves so much better than me."

The grip on my shoulder tightens. I turn towards Elain to see all signs of sadness replaced by... fury. "How can you say that?" I simply shake my head. She wraps her arms around my chest, pulling me towards her. "I can't believe you see it that way. It's... it's not a good way to live your life."

I savor the warmth of her thin body. "In the weeks after Hybern, I didn't want to exist anymore. I hated that I had been turned Fae. My life as a human had little purpose, so I wanted to do as much as I could to help my father. A good marriage would help him build connections. Graysen was kind and sweet, and I fell in love with him. Then... they came. After that, every moment I was in Velaris, I wished I hadn't come out of the Cauldron."